¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

People are becoming too dependent on the Internet and phone.

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÀÓ*¼±
2024-02-21 917

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

ESSAY: People are becoming too dependent on the Internet and phone. Is it a positive or negative development?

I think the development is more negative than positive.
People can search any information they need to know on the internet and phone anytime and anywhere.
However, people can easily trust wrong information on the internet and phone, so fraud damage through phishing is increasing.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Good afternoon Ms. Sunny~!^^ Keep your face always toward the sunshine, and shadows will fall behind you~!^^ 
>>> TEACHER GEMMA
I think the development is more negative than positive.
>>> I think disadvantages outweigh the advantages. 
People can search any information they need to know on the internet and phone anytime and anywhere.
>>> CORRECT~! ^^
However, people can easily trust wrong information on the internet and phone, so fraud damage through phishing is increasing.
>>> CORRECT~! ^^
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
133925 Homework °­*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2024-01-16 891
133924 What do you think of being a vegetarian? Some people give up... Ȳ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-01-16 1313
133923 Homework À±*¼± ¿Ï·á 2024-01-16 1087
133922 Homework Àå*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2024-01-16 1042
133921 homework ±è*¸° ¿Ï·á 2024-01-16 1
133920 Are there any health benefits to drinking coffee? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2024-01-16 821
133919 WRITING TASK: What is the most important appointment you have... ÀÓ*Áö ¿Ï·á 2024-01-16 3
133918 We all know that working out is necessary, but why do you think... Á¤*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2024-01-16 1680
133917 Enjoy shopping ÀÓ*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-01-16 1856
133916 Cooking ¿°*¿¹ ¿Ï·á 2024-01-16 2
133915 Shopping ¿°*¿¹ ¿Ï·á 2024-01-16 5
133914 Free Writing ±è*À² ¿Ï·á 2024-01-16 1004
133913 Disadvantages of trying local cuisines ¾ç*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-01-16 2138
133912 9.Jan.2024 ±è*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2024-01-16 0
133911 03.Jan.2024 ±è*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2024-01-16 1018
133910 02.Jan.2024 ±è*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2024-01-16 0
133909 Homework ±è*´Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-01-16 1527
133908 What can you say about the generation gap? ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-01-16 2
133907 Standing the heat ÀÌ*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-01-15 1086
133906 If you had teleporting abilities, what¡¯s the first place you... ÀÓ*È£ ¿Ï·á 2024-01-15 0

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04