¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

People are becoming too dependent on the Internet and phone.

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÀÓ*¼±
2024-02-21 499

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

ESSAY: People are becoming too dependent on the Internet and phone. Is it a positive or negative development?

I think the development is more negative than positive.
People can search any information they need to know on the internet and phone anytime and anywhere.
However, people can easily trust wrong information on the internet and phone, so fraud damage through phishing is increasing.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Good afternoon Ms. Sunny~!^^ Keep your face always toward the sunshine, and shadows will fall behind you~!^^ 
>>> TEACHER GEMMA
I think the development is more negative than positive.
>>> I think disadvantages outweigh the advantages. 
People can search any information they need to know on the internet and phone anytime and anywhere.
>>> CORRECT~! ^^
However, people can easily trust wrong information on the internet and phone, so fraud damage through phishing is increasing.
>>> CORRECT~! ^^
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
139882 Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-09-12 396
139881 9/12(Thu) homework ±è*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2024-09-12 254
139880 Why is it important to obey your parents? ¹Ú*Çö ¿Ï·á 2024-09-12 315
139879 Summer or winter vacation ÀÌ*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-09-12 148
139878 homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-09-12 8
139877 Do you think you chose the right career path? Why or why not? ÇÑ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-09-12 549
139876 Are there any hobbies that you think are not worthwhile? ÃÖ*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2024-09-12 4
139875 mine ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2024-09-12 1
139874 Do you think holidays are important? Why? Á¤*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2024-09-12 589
139873 HOMEWORK FOR 09.11.2024 WRITING TASK: How can you handle a... ÀÓ*Áö ¿Ï·á 2024-09-12 1
139872 neighbor ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2024-09-12 1
139871 homework ½É*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-09-12 1
139870 HOMEWORK FOR 09/11 Writing Task ÀÌ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2024-09-12 4
139869 Homework ³ë*ö ÁøÇàÁß 2024-09-12 398
139868 What¡¯s something interesting or unique about drinking culture... ÀÓ*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2024-09-12 308
139867 Homework : How often do you clean your room? What do you usually... ÀÌ*¹ü ¿Ï·á 2024-09-12 561
139866 What chores are your responsibility? À±*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2024-09-11 0
139865 Do you think you can teach someone to be successful? ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-09-11 385
139864 Homework ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2024-09-11 1
139863 home work ½Å*¸° ¿Ï·á 2024-09-11 556

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04