¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

People are becoming too dependent on the Internet and phone.

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÀÓ*¼±
2024-02-21 378

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

ESSAY: People are becoming too dependent on the Internet and phone. Is it a positive or negative development?

I think the development is more negative than positive.
People can search any information they need to know on the internet and phone anytime and anywhere.
However, people can easily trust wrong information on the internet and phone, so fraud damage through phishing is increasing.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Good afternoon Ms. Sunny~!^^ Keep your face always toward the sunshine, and shadows will fall behind you~!^^ 
>>> TEACHER GEMMA
I think the development is more negative than positive.
>>> I think disadvantages outweigh the advantages. 
People can search any information they need to know on the internet and phone anytime and anywhere.
>>> CORRECT~! ^^
However, people can easily trust wrong information on the internet and phone, so fraud damage through phishing is increasing.
>>> CORRECT~! ^^
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
137549 Homework Àå*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2024-05-31 373
137548 Recycling ÀÌ*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-05-31 331
137547 homework ÀÌ*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2024-05-31 556
137546 What is the weather like in your country for each season? ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-05-31 514
137545 Mar 29th\'s homework ¾È*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2024-05-31 586
137544 homework ±è*º° ¿Ï·á 2024-05-31 2
137543 Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-05-31 281
137542 5/30(Thu.) homework ±è*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2024-05-31 519
137541 5/31(Fri) homework ±è*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2024-05-31 509
137540 Homework ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2024-05-31 2
137539 homework ÀÌ*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2024-05-31 551
137538 HOMEWORK ÁÖ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2024-05-31 540
137537 Home work ¹Ú*Çý ¿Ï·á 2024-05-31 422
137536 HOMEWORK FOR 05.31.2024 DIRECTIONS: Please use the words in a... ÀÓ*Áö ¿Ï·á 2024-05-31 5
137535 Homework Á¤*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2024-05-31 573
137534 Potential benefits of hiring foreign-liscensed doctors ¾ç*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-05-31 549
137533 29.May.2024 ±è*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2024-05-31 0
137532 When did you first visit this place? ¿À*¼Ò ¿Ï·á 2024-05-31 0
137531 Do you think women should be able to do the same jobs that men... ¿À*¼Ò ¿Ï·á 2024-05-31 3
137530 Secondhand smoke ÀÌ*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-05-31 655

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04