¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

People are becoming too dependent on the Internet and phone.

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÀÓ*¼±
2024-02-21 406

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

ESSAY: People are becoming too dependent on the Internet and phone. Is it a positive or negative development?

I think the development is more negative than positive.
People can search any information they need to know on the internet and phone anytime and anywhere.
However, people can easily trust wrong information on the internet and phone, so fraud damage through phishing is increasing.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Good afternoon Ms. Sunny~!^^ Keep your face always toward the sunshine, and shadows will fall behind you~!^^ 
>>> TEACHER GEMMA
I think the development is more negative than positive.
>>> I think disadvantages outweigh the advantages. 
People can search any information they need to know on the internet and phone anytime and anywhere.
>>> CORRECT~! ^^
However, people can easily trust wrong information on the internet and phone, so fraud damage through phishing is increasing.
>>> CORRECT~! ^^
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
138184 Coffee- flavored food ¾ç*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-07-01 620
138183 What safety measures should be followed when practicing archery? ¹Ú*È£ ¿Ï·á 2024-07-01 685
138182 Do you like to try local foods when you go somewhere? Have you... Ȳ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-07-01 513
138181 Yes ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2024-06-30 425
138180 Bad ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2024-06-30 722
138179 Best friend ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2024-06-30 627
138178 Bully ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2024-06-30 507
138177 What is the difference between stereotypes and prejudices? ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-06-30 0
138176 Why do you think kids wear eyeglasses at such a young age? Â÷*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2024-06-30 408
138175 Is there anything in particular you are looking forward to this... ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-06-30 567
138174 Do you think it\'s good to have a big family? Â÷*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-06-30 577
138173 What are the best ways to avoid getting sick? ±è*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2024-06-30 467
138172 Do you think pirated products are as good as the originals? ¹Ú*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-06-30 580
138171 What do you get from lessons focused on ¡°pronunciation¡±? ¹Ú*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-06-30 1605
138170 Share your movie review of the most recent movie you have seen ¹Ú*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-06-30 656
138169 Homework ¿À*º½ ¿Ï·á 2024-06-29 2
138168 rumors ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2024-06-29 1
138167 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-06-29 2
138166 Homework ¹Ú*Çý ¿Ï·á 2024-06-29 458
138165 Homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-06-28 493

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04