¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

What is your reason for wanting to be a flight attendant?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: õ*Àº
2024-02-21 370

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

After graduated culinary school and worked in F&B field, I felt like I need more achievement and opportunity to work with diverse people.
I looked back on myself and what I really enjoyed and bring me satisfaction was interacting with new people and taking care of their needs.
If I become a flight attendant, my personality and service experience are gonna be perfect as a cabin crew and I can broaden my view and improve my skills by various experience.
Also, I think aviation industry is fascinating to me, because we can connect people from all over the world and it would be never get boring.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello, Rachel!

The Food and Beverage department as well as being  a cabin crew are interrelated since they both deal with service and human relations. You are not changing your career totally. You are only adding more skills to what you already have. I think you are doing great at it.

Below, you can see very few grammar suggestions. Your sentences are long and meaningful as well as interconnected by correct transition words. There is also efficiency in your use of vocabulary words. You did a very good job!

Thank you for your diligence. See you again tomorrow!

-T. Donna~

After graduated culinary school and worked in F&B field, I felt like I need more achievement and opportunity to work with diverse people.
>> After I graduated in culinary school and worked in the F&B field, I felt like I need more achievements and opportunities to work with diverse people.

I looked back on myself and what I really enjoyed and bring me satisfaction was interacting with new people and taking care of their needs.
>> I looked back on myself and what I really enjoyed and what brings me satisfaction was interacting with new people and taking care of their needs.

If I become a flight attendant, my personality and service experience are gonna be perfect as a cabin crew and I can broaden my view and improve my skills by various experience.
>> If I become a flight attendant, my personality and service experiences are gonna be/ (going to be)  perfect as a cabin crew and I can broaden my view and improve my skills by various experiences. Very good sentence!

Also, I think aviation industry is fascinating to me, because we can connect people from all over the world and it would be never get boring.
>> Also, I  think that the aviation industry is fascinating to me, because we can connect with people from all over the world and it would be never get boring. Very good sentence!
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
132373 homework ¾È*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-13 1851
132372 How far is your parents\' hometown from the capital? ±Ç*Áö ¿Ï·á 2023-11-13 746
132371 Change is natural ÀÓ*Áø ¿Ï·á 2023-11-13 850
132370 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-11-13 815
132369 In your opinion, at what age is the appropriate age to teach a... ½Å*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-13 764
132368 Have you ever experienced having bedbugs in your home? How did... ±è*±¹ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-13 1
132367 . ¼Û*Çö ¿Ï·á 2023-11-13 4
132366 Homework Á¤*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-13 1437
132365 homework ±è*¸° ¿Ï·á 2023-11-13 0
132364 How do you think awareness of habituation can improve overall... ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2023-11-13 4
132363 Homework ½Å*È­ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-13 1029
132362 Homework ½Å*È­ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-13 820
132361 HOMEWORK FOR 11.13.2023 ÀÓ*Áö ¿Ï·á 2023-11-13 2
132360 Homework Á¤*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-13 1344
132359 Homework ±è*´Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-11-13 1017
132358 homework_231109 ÇÑ*·Ï ¿Ï·á 2023-11-13 1238
132357 The biggest accident in my whole life °­*À² ¿Ï·á 2023-11-12 1
132356 Homework ÀÌ*È­ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-12 1380
132355 homework ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-12 1
132354 WRITING TASK: How can helping others help us? ÀÓ*Áö ¿Ï·á 2023-11-12 3

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04