¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*
2024-02-19 1691

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®



I put the photo cuz I wrote over 1000 letters

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Good morning, Geon!
Wow, this is really fantastic! I like the way you expressed your thoughts and how you finalized the story.
I am a parents myself, even if we don't agree with our child's opinion, parents are always there to show support.
Have a good day!
T. Aki~

I have a case with my sister. As you know, she is with German husband.
>>> I have a case with my sister. As you know, she is with a German husband.

When they were in a relationship and my parents knew it for the first time, my parents didn't allow them strongly.
>>>  CORRECT!

They thought there are some complicated problem and the big reason was different nationality.
>>> They thought there were some complicated problems and the big reason was different nationalities.

They were not opened yet, but the thing was changed after we met together for the first time with her German boyfriend.
>>> They were not open yet, but the thing changed after meeting her German boyfriend personally for the first time.

He came to Korea to meet us and we spent together in Korea over a month.
>>> He came to Korea to meet us and we spent time together for over a month.

During that time, my parents had been opened their mind step by step, they could undertsnag that he is such a good person, even our nationality is different.
>>> During that time, my parents had opened their minds gradually, they could understand that he was such a good person, even though our nationality is different.

Now they are going to get marriage this year and my parents are really happy about that.
>>> Now they are going to get married this year and my parents are really happy about that.

It's not important my family's opinion about my partner' It's my conclusion from this story. I didn't mean there is no connection.
>>> It's not important my family's opinion about my partner' It's my conclusion from this story. I didn't mean there was no connection.

There is a line that says "Children are the mirror of their parents."
>>> CORRECT!

I'm quite agree with that because naturally our perspective are based on our parents's one while we are grown up.
>>> I quite agree with that because naturally our perspective is based on our parents while we are growing up.

When we think about our partner in a positive sense, there is a high possibility that our parents would like our partner.
>>> When we think about our partner in a positive sense, there is a high possibility that our parents would like our partner.

Even they don't like him/her at the first time, as time goes on they will open their mind step by step like what my parents did.
>>> Even they don't like him/her at first time, as time goes on they will open their minds gradually like what my parents did.

Just take our time to understand.
>>> It just takes time to understand.

If they are good parents, there are no parents who block their children decision.
>>> If they are good parents, there are no parents who will interfere with their children's decisions.



























¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
141442 snow ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-11 1
141441 Would you rather stay over at a super fancy mansion or a cozy... ÀÓ*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2024-12-11 431
141440 ¹ßÀ½ Á¶*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-11 516
141439 Page.9 ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-12-11 2
141438 What made you interested in doing Mixed Martial Arts? ÀÌ*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-10 772
141437 Which is better for communication, e-mail or handwritten letters? ¼Õ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-10 577
141436 Home work ½Å*¶ó ¿Ï·á 2024-12-10 731
141435 What do you think of men who apply makeup on their faces or use... Â÷*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-12-10 691
141434 What are your thoughts on kids having slumber parties regularly? Â÷*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-10 480
141433 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-12-10 1
141432 Homework ±è*Çö ¿Ï·á 2024-12-10 482
141431 Homework ±è*Çö ¿Ï·á 2024-12-10 569
141430 06Dec2024_Homework ±è*¶ó ¿Ï·á 2024-12-10 661
141429 09Dec2024_Homework ±è*¶ó ¿Ï·á 2024-12-10 524
141428 What is your favorite comfort food and why? ÀÌ*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-10 647
141427 How do you feel better when you\'re sad or angry? ÀÌ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-10 572
141426 Job interview_self introduction ±è*¸° ¿Ï·á 2024-12-10 574
141425 How do you make the most of your life every day? Á¤*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-10 5
141424 About studying µµ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-10 632
141423 snow ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-10 1

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04