¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*
2024-02-18 546

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

HOMEWORK:
What are the things that seem therapeutic for you?

I took Music Therapy Class in my first year in university. The reason why I took this class was I love listening music. I believe when people are listening music, there are invisible powers that heal and relax our mind. At this time in reality, there are some places treating people by music who got a depression or anxiety. Actually they can't explain exactly in a scientific reasons how the people who got a mind illness overcomes by music. Even they can't explain, certainly music has a power as a therapy. Music is not only treat people, but gives some inspiration, motivation and sets our mood. I hope music could help a lot of people much more than now in the future.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi, Geon~
I admire people who try to help themselves at their lowest point in life. It may be hard but facing challenges in life shows how resilient you may be. I am glad you took this kind of therapy. Music can improve mood, decrease pain and anxiety, and facilitate opportunities for emotional expression. 
Have a wonderful day!
T. Aki!~


I took Music Therapy Class in my first year in university.
>>> I took a Music Therapy Class in my first year in university.

The reason why I took this class was I love listening music.
>>> The reason why I took this class was I love listening to music.

I believe when people are listening music, there are invisible powers that heal and relax our mind.
>>>  I believe when people are listening to music, there are invisible powers that heal and relax our minds.

At this time in reality, there are some places treating people by music who got a depression or anxiety.
>>>  At this time in reality, there are some places treating people with music who have depression or anxiety.

Actually they can't explain exactly in a scientific reasons how the people who got a mind illness overcomes by music.
>>> They can't explain exactly in a scientific reason how the people who got a mental illness overcome by music.

Even they can't explain, certainly music has a power as a therapy.
>>>  Even they can't explain, certainly, music has the power as a therapy.

Music is not only treat people, but gives some inspiration, motivation and sets our mood.
>>>  Music not only treats people but gives some inspiration, and motivation and sets our mood.

I hope music could help a lot of people much more than now in the future.
>>> I hope music can help a lot of people much more than now in the future.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
128740 6/8 homework ÃÖ*º½ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-08 836
128739 When you were little, what was your favorite thing to do? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2023-06-08 197
128738 Rock and roll!! ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2023-06-08 303
128737 What house chores do you do? ¾Ù* ¿Ï·á 2023-06-08 1
128736 What does a holiday mean to you? ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-08 468
128735 How much money do you think a grade schooler should receive as... Le* ¿Ï·á 2023-06-08 353
128734 Why do you think it\'s easier to have bad habits than good ones? ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-08 198
128733 Have you ever thought of giving up your holiday due to... Le* ¿Ï·á 2023-06-08 533
128732 I am a angry bird ±è*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-08 1
128731 Writing Task 0607 À¯*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-08 2
128730 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-08 1
128729 What advice can you give to people who are depressed? Do you... ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-08 370
128728 How do you know when to stop eating? Is it easy to eat too much? ÀÌ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2023-06-08 327
128727 Homework ¿À*ºó ¿Ï·á 2023-06-08 0
128726 how weekend makes my feel ÃÖ*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-08 473
128725 online ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-08 823
128724 Homework ½Å*È­ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-08 558
128723 Homework ÀÌ*Áø ¿Ï·á 2023-06-08 607
128722 What kind of restaurants do you like? ÀÓ*È£ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-08 560
128721 homework ½Å*ÈÖ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-08 730

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04