¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*
2024-02-18 1004

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

HOMEWORK:
What are the things that seem therapeutic for you?

I took Music Therapy Class in my first year in university. The reason why I took this class was I love listening music. I believe when people are listening music, there are invisible powers that heal and relax our mind. At this time in reality, there are some places treating people by music who got a depression or anxiety. Actually they can't explain exactly in a scientific reasons how the people who got a mind illness overcomes by music. Even they can't explain, certainly music has a power as a therapy. Music is not only treat people, but gives some inspiration, motivation and sets our mood. I hope music could help a lot of people much more than now in the future.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi, Geon~
I admire people who try to help themselves at their lowest point in life. It may be hard but facing challenges in life shows how resilient you may be. I am glad you took this kind of therapy. Music can improve mood, decrease pain and anxiety, and facilitate opportunities for emotional expression. 
Have a wonderful day!
T. Aki!~


I took Music Therapy Class in my first year in university.
>>> I took a Music Therapy Class in my first year in university.

The reason why I took this class was I love listening music.
>>> The reason why I took this class was I love listening to music.

I believe when people are listening music, there are invisible powers that heal and relax our mind.
>>>  I believe when people are listening to music, there are invisible powers that heal and relax our minds.

At this time in reality, there are some places treating people by music who got a depression or anxiety.
>>>  At this time in reality, there are some places treating people with music who have depression or anxiety.

Actually they can't explain exactly in a scientific reasons how the people who got a mind illness overcomes by music.
>>> They can't explain exactly in a scientific reason how the people who got a mental illness overcome by music.

Even they can't explain, certainly music has a power as a therapy.
>>>  Even they can't explain, certainly, music has the power as a therapy.

Music is not only treat people, but gives some inspiration, motivation and sets our mood.
>>>  Music not only treats people but gives some inspiration, and motivation and sets our mood.

I hope music could help a lot of people much more than now in the future.
>>> I hope music can help a lot of people much more than now in the future.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
131482 If you could travel back in time, where would you go? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2023-10-06 2222
131481 Homework ±è* ¿Ï·á 2023-10-06 0
131480 Do you think that frozen eggs have side effects/ disadvantages... ÀÌ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-06 2
131479 Homework JA*UNG CHUNG ¿Ï·á 2023-10-06 2732
131478 Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-10-06 2768
131477 Long distance relations ÀÌ*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-10-06 2312
131476 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-10-06 0
131475 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-10-06 0
131474 Hi, Divina °­*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-06 0
131473 Do you think your wedding is the happiest day of your life? ±è*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-06 1
131472 Homework ½Å*È­ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-06 3413
131471 Homework ½Å*È­ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-06 2183
131470 Memorable day ±è*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-06 1780
131469 If you could change something in your past, what would it be? ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-10-06 0
131468 WRITING TASK: What are the advantages of an early bird? ÀÓ*Áö ¿Ï·á 2023-10-05 3
131467 My favorite sports ÃÖ*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-05 2044
131466 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-10-05 1871
131465 homework 10.05 ÃÖ*Ç ¿Ï·á 2023-10-05 2140
131464 What\'s your thought on vegetarians or vegeans? ¿À*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-05 2
131463 HomeWork °í*ö ¿Ï·á 2023-10-05 4226

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04