¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*
2024-02-18 320

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

HOMEWORK:
What are the things that seem therapeutic for you?

I took Music Therapy Class in my first year in university. The reason why I took this class was I love listening music. I believe when people are listening music, there are invisible powers that heal and relax our mind. At this time in reality, there are some places treating people by music who got a depression or anxiety. Actually they can't explain exactly in a scientific reasons how the people who got a mind illness overcomes by music. Even they can't explain, certainly music has a power as a therapy. Music is not only treat people, but gives some inspiration, motivation and sets our mood. I hope music could help a lot of people much more than now in the future.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi, Geon~
I admire people who try to help themselves at their lowest point in life. It may be hard but facing challenges in life shows how resilient you may be. I am glad you took this kind of therapy. Music can improve mood, decrease pain and anxiety, and facilitate opportunities for emotional expression. 
Have a wonderful day!
T. Aki!~


I took Music Therapy Class in my first year in university.
>>> I took a Music Therapy Class in my first year in university.

The reason why I took this class was I love listening music.
>>> The reason why I took this class was I love listening to music.

I believe when people are listening music, there are invisible powers that heal and relax our mind.
>>>  I believe when people are listening to music, there are invisible powers that heal and relax our minds.

At this time in reality, there are some places treating people by music who got a depression or anxiety.
>>>  At this time in reality, there are some places treating people with music who have depression or anxiety.

Actually they can't explain exactly in a scientific reasons how the people who got a mind illness overcomes by music.
>>> They can't explain exactly in a scientific reason how the people who got a mental illness overcome by music.

Even they can't explain, certainly music has a power as a therapy.
>>>  Even they can't explain, certainly, music has the power as a therapy.

Music is not only treat people, but gives some inspiration, motivation and sets our mood.
>>>  Music not only treats people but gives some inspiration, and motivation and sets our mood.

I hope music could help a lot of people much more than now in the future.
>>> I hope music can help a lot of people much more than now in the future.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
132740 A Visit to the Park ÀÌ*¼º ¿Ï·á 2023-11-25 1
132739 Ideal fitness program ¿°*¿¹ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-25 2
132738 Ordering food in English ¿°*¿¹ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-25 1
132737 If you could change one thing about your neighborhood, what... ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2023-11-25 936
132736 What does your school like? ÃÖ*ÇÑ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-25 621
132735 When are you most proud of your nationality? À±*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2023-11-25 3
132734 homwork ¹Ú*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-25 3
132733 If you were to create your own fashion line, what would be the... ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2023-11-25 762
132732 What\'s the most important thing to do to handle and accept... ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-24 520
132731 What different ways are there to cook potatoes? ÃÖ*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-24 786
132730 Would you like dual nationality? What are the benefits? ¿¡*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-11-24 1
132729 The last time I stayed over ÀÌ*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-11-24 867
132728 I go to karaoke when I\'m stressed out. ±è*ºó ¿Ï·á 2023-11-24 2
132727 homework 11.24 ÃÖ*Ç ¿Ï·á 2023-11-24 798
132726 Would you rather clean your room or wash the dishes after dinner? ¼Û*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-11-24 623
132725 Homework ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-24 1
132724 homework ÀÌ*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-24 559
132723 Do you think Christmas is the best holiday of the year? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2023-11-24 593
132722 HOMEWORK: Please write a short paragraph about \"Is it really... ¾Ù* ¿Ï·á 2023-11-24 2
132721 Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-11-24 932

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04