¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*
2024-02-18 287

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

HOMEWORK:
What are the things that seem therapeutic for you?

I took Music Therapy Class in my first year in university. The reason why I took this class was I love listening music. I believe when people are listening music, there are invisible powers that heal and relax our mind. At this time in reality, there are some places treating people by music who got a depression or anxiety. Actually they can't explain exactly in a scientific reasons how the people who got a mind illness overcomes by music. Even they can't explain, certainly music has a power as a therapy. Music is not only treat people, but gives some inspiration, motivation and sets our mood. I hope music could help a lot of people much more than now in the future.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi, Geon~
I admire people who try to help themselves at their lowest point in life. It may be hard but facing challenges in life shows how resilient you may be. I am glad you took this kind of therapy. Music can improve mood, decrease pain and anxiety, and facilitate opportunities for emotional expression. 
Have a wonderful day!
T. Aki!~


I took Music Therapy Class in my first year in university.
>>> I took a Music Therapy Class in my first year in university.

The reason why I took this class was I love listening music.
>>> The reason why I took this class was I love listening to music.

I believe when people are listening music, there are invisible powers that heal and relax our mind.
>>>  I believe when people are listening to music, there are invisible powers that heal and relax our minds.

At this time in reality, there are some places treating people by music who got a depression or anxiety.
>>>  At this time in reality, there are some places treating people with music who have depression or anxiety.

Actually they can't explain exactly in a scientific reasons how the people who got a mind illness overcomes by music.
>>> They can't explain exactly in a scientific reason how the people who got a mental illness overcome by music.

Even they can't explain, certainly music has a power as a therapy.
>>>  Even they can't explain, certainly, music has the power as a therapy.

Music is not only treat people, but gives some inspiration, motivation and sets our mood.
>>>  Music not only treats people but gives some inspiration, and motivation and sets our mood.

I hope music could help a lot of people much more than now in the future.
>>> I hope music can help a lot of people much more than now in the future.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
133380 Why do you want to improve your English skills? Á¤*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-12-21 1
133379 homwork ¹Ú*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2023-12-21 2
133378 ¼÷Á¦ ±Ç*Å ¿Ï·á 2023-12-21 505
133377 ¼÷Á¦ ±Ç*Å ¿Ï·á 2023-12-21 336
133376 ¼÷Á¦ ±Ç*Å ¿Ï·á 2023-12-21 417
133375 Writing Task: How do prices in your country impact your... ±è*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2023-12-21 695
133374 What qualities do you think make a good leader? ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2023-12-20 507
133373 homework 12.20 ÃÖ*Ç ¿Ï·á 2023-12-20 543
133372 Is technology making people smarter or dumber? ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-12-20 0
133371 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-12-20 407
133370 Why is keeping yourself fit important? ¹®*Çö ¿Ï·á 2023-12-20 490
133369 How do you think transportation will change in the future? ÃÖ*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2023-12-20 568
133368 What is the most important quality a good friend should have?... À±*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2023-12-20 0
133367 Homework ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2023-12-20 2
133366 homework ÀÌ*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2023-12-20 400
133365 Sleeping disorders ÀÌ*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-12-20 417
133364 Write instructions about making a snowman for someone who has... ÀÓ*È£ ¿Ï·á 2023-12-20 0
133363 Can you discuss whether artificial intelligence is right or... ¿¡*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-12-20 1
133362 HOMEWORK: Please write a short paragraph about \"What is the... ¾Ù* ¿Ï·á 2023-12-20 0
133361 Do you like traveling alone? Kindly explain your answer in no... ±è*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2023-12-20 2

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04