¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*
2024-02-18 228

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

HOMEWORK:
What are the things that seem therapeutic for you?

I took Music Therapy Class in my first year in university. The reason why I took this class was I love listening music. I believe when people are listening music, there are invisible powers that heal and relax our mind. At this time in reality, there are some places treating people by music who got a depression or anxiety. Actually they can't explain exactly in a scientific reasons how the people who got a mind illness overcomes by music. Even they can't explain, certainly music has a power as a therapy. Music is not only treat people, but gives some inspiration, motivation and sets our mood. I hope music could help a lot of people much more than now in the future.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi, Geon~
I admire people who try to help themselves at their lowest point in life. It may be hard but facing challenges in life shows how resilient you may be. I am glad you took this kind of therapy. Music can improve mood, decrease pain and anxiety, and facilitate opportunities for emotional expression. 
Have a wonderful day!
T. Aki!~


I took Music Therapy Class in my first year in university.
>>> I took a Music Therapy Class in my first year in university.

The reason why I took this class was I love listening music.
>>> The reason why I took this class was I love listening to music.

I believe when people are listening music, there are invisible powers that heal and relax our mind.
>>>  I believe when people are listening to music, there are invisible powers that heal and relax our minds.

At this time in reality, there are some places treating people by music who got a depression or anxiety.
>>>  At this time in reality, there are some places treating people with music who have depression or anxiety.

Actually they can't explain exactly in a scientific reasons how the people who got a mind illness overcomes by music.
>>> They can't explain exactly in a scientific reason how the people who got a mental illness overcome by music.

Even they can't explain, certainly music has a power as a therapy.
>>>  Even they can't explain, certainly, music has the power as a therapy.

Music is not only treat people, but gives some inspiration, motivation and sets our mood.
>>>  Music not only treats people but gives some inspiration, and motivation and sets our mood.

I hope music could help a lot of people much more than now in the future.
>>> I hope music can help a lot of people much more than now in the future.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
134411 Homework Àå*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2024-02-02 485
134410 4DAY HOMEWORK ÀÌ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-02-01 333
134409 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-02-01 283
134408 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-02-01 445
134407 homework 02.01 ÃÖ*Ç ¿Ï·á 2024-02-01 374
134406 Homework ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2024-02-01 4
134405 How much time do you spend online each week? Is it too much... ±è*Áö ¿Ï·á 2024-02-01 8
134404 if you could eliminate one autumn tradition, what would it be?... ¿À*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2024-02-01 0
134403 Do you like your bedroom style? ¼Û*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-02-01 542
134402 >> Assume that you were going to organize a festival. What kind... ÀÌ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2024-02-01 3
134401 I want to see a Touching drama. °í*È£ ¿Ï·á 2024-02-01 828
134400 Stopping a sports fanatic from watching a certain sport ÀÌ*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-02-01 624
134399 Homework ±è*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2024-02-01 488
134398 Homework ³ª*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2024-02-01 1
134397 Friendship ¿°*¿¹ ¿Ï·á 2024-02-01 3
134396 Never saw movies are ±è*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2024-02-01 604
134395 Homework ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2024-02-01 0
134394 HOMEWORK Ȳ*Çý ¿Ï·á 2024-02-01 973
134393 If you could get rid of one thing you do every day, what would... ¿¡*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2024-02-01 0
134392 HOMEWORK: Please write a short paragraph about \"Are you excited... ¾Ù* ¿Ï·á 2024-02-01 1

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04