¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

homework 02.15

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÃÖ*Ç
2024-02-15 699

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

~ Writing Task:
Please answer the question:
Do you think it¡¯s necessary to have a gym membership to stay fit?

If we don't have a special hobby, I think it's good way to have exercise hobby.
In my opinion, the potential of the hobby of exercising is endless.
If we did hard exercise and feel changes and get health in our bodies, we will feel like we are getting a big reward.
And, I think this feeling also affects mental health.
For example, we will always have a positive mind.
If you don't know how to doing exercise, rather I think it's good to go to the gym.
Because we can experience most of the exercise at the gym.
However, the will and persistence are important.
I also failed a lot.
Because, I often give up when exercising interesting changed not fun.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi, Keon!
Thank you so much for taking time in answering the question. Your ideas and opinions are on point. Keep it up! :)
~ T. Camille


~ Writing Task:
Please answer the question:
Do you think it¡¯s necessary to have a gym membership to stay fit?


If we don't have a special hobby, I think it's good way to have exercise hobby.
>> If we don't have a special hobby, I think it's a good way to have exercise as a hobby.
In my opinion, the potential of the hobby of exercising is endless.
>> CORRECT!
If we did hard exercise and feel changes and get health in our bodies, we will feel like we are getting a big reward.
>> If we exercise hardly and feel changes. and get our bodies in good shape, we will feel like we are getting a big reward.
And, I think this feeling also affects mental health.
>> And, I think this feeling also affects our mental health.
For example, we will always have a positive mind.
>> CORRECT!
If you don't know how to doing exercise, rather I think it's good to go to the gym.
>> If you don't know how to do exercises, I think it's good to go to the gym.
Because we can experience most of the exercise at the gym.
>> It's because we can experience most of the exercises at the gym.
However, the will and persistence are important.
>> CORRECT!
I also failed a lot.
>> CORRECT!
Because, I often give up when exercising interesting changed not fun.
>> Because, I often give up when exercising is not interesting anymore, or if it's not fun.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
133518 What are the things you want to achieve before the end of this... ÀÌ*Çö ¿Ï·á 2023-12-29 2292
133517 Homework 12/27 ±è*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2023-12-29 1
133516 homework ±è*¸° ¿Ï·á 2023-12-29 1
133515 The Meaning of \"Success\" in Modern Society ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-12-29 3
133514 Old people\'s name with culture and values °­*À² ¿Ï·á 2023-12-28 1
133513 What does a vacation make you feel? ¹®*Çö ¿Ï·á 2023-12-28 976
133512 Major holidays ÀÌ*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-12-28 1115
133511 homework 12.28 ÃÖ*Ç ¿Ï·á 2023-12-28 1165
133510 Would you rather visit every country or fly to outer space? ¼Û*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-12-28 1475
133509 HOMEWORK: Please write a short paragraph about \"Is it important... ¾Ù* ¿Ï·á 2023-12-28 3
133508 What subject would you like to be most knowledgeable about? ¿¡*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-12-28 1
133507 Would you like to be a celebrity? What do you think are the... À±*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2023-12-28 0
133506 Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-12-28 896
133505 homework ³ë*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2023-12-28 764
133504 What country would you like to visit? ¹Ú*Çö ¿Ï·á 2023-12-28 985
133503 homework ±è*´ã ¿Ï·á 2023-12-28 1196
133502 homework ±è*¸° ¿Ï·á 2023-12-28 1
133501 The most interesting person ¾ç*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-12-28 1287
133500 HOMEWORK FOR 12.27.2023 WRITING TASK: What is more important,... ÀÓ*Áö ¿Ï·á 2023-12-28 1
133499 Homework ½Å*È­ ¿Ï·á 2023-12-28 1622

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04