¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*´Ô
2024-02-15 2200

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

People are satisfied with their life when they
feel successful.
If I choose my job or hobby sometimes it can be a person. I think I have to do my best.
Working hard is important regardless of success or result.
Such that life can make me happy and I won¡¯t regret to my life.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Great day, Ms. Sunny!
We all have ways to become successful, we need to work on our own to achieve our goal. Don't try using the ruler of success of the other person.
Have a good day!
Aki~

People are satisfied with their life when they feel successful.
>>> CORRECT!
OR >> Accomplishment and success make people satisfied with their lives.

If I choose my job or hobby sometimes it can be a person.
>>> Whenever I choose my job or hobby there is the influence of another person.

I think I have to do my best.
>>> CORRECT!

Working hard is important regardless of success or result.
>>> Working hard is important regardless of the result.

Such that life can make me happy and I won¡¯t regret to my life.
>>> Such life can make me happy with no regrets.


¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
134259 What¡¯s new with you? ±Ç*Áö ¿Ï·á 2024-01-29 2618
134258 Talk about your Paju trip Ȳ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-01-29 2372
134257 What do you think of trying something new that is out of your... Á¤*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2024-01-29 2525
134256 First impression ¾ç*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-01-29 1669
134255 Homework ±è*´Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-01-29 1615
134254 Why do you think it\'s easier for people to have or develop bad... ÃÖ*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2024-01-28 1906
134253 Homework À±*¼± ¿Ï·á 2024-01-28 2518
134252 How do you deal with spam e-mail? ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2024-01-28 2420
134251 Why is English fluency significant for you? õ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-01-28 2265
134250 home work ÃÖ*¼Ø ¿Ï·á 2024-01-28 2097
134249 Homework - \"What\'s the most disgusting food you ever ate in a... ¼­*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-01-28 2800
134248 Why do you think dancing is hard? ÃÖ*ÇÑ ¿Ï·á 2024-01-28 2216
134247 Interests ¿°*¿¹ ¿Ï·á 2024-01-28 2
134246 4 Day HOMEWORK ÀÌ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-01-28 2119
134245 I think the English and Korean are most beautiful language. ¿À*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2024-01-28 0
134244 Love and Marriage ¿°*¿¹ ¿Ï·á 2024-01-28 2
134243 Fashion ¿°*¿¹ ¿Ï·á 2024-01-28 1
134242 Driving ¿°*¿¹ ¿Ï·á 2024-01-28 0
134241 What are some signs that a partner may be cheating? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2024-01-27 2114
134240 Who always asks favors from you? À±*ºó ¿Ï·á 2024-01-27 1538

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04