¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*´Ô
2024-02-15 771

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

People are satisfied with their life when they
feel successful.
If I choose my job or hobby sometimes it can be a person. I think I have to do my best.
Working hard is important regardless of success or result.
Such that life can make me happy and I won¡¯t regret to my life.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Great day, Ms. Sunny!
We all have ways to become successful, we need to work on our own to achieve our goal. Don't try using the ruler of success of the other person.
Have a good day!
Aki~

People are satisfied with their life when they feel successful.
>>> CORRECT!
OR >> Accomplishment and success make people satisfied with their lives.

If I choose my job or hobby sometimes it can be a person.
>>> Whenever I choose my job or hobby there is the influence of another person.

I think I have to do my best.
>>> CORRECT!

Working hard is important regardless of success or result.
>>> Working hard is important regardless of the result.

Such that life can make me happy and I won¡¯t regret to my life.
>>> Such life can make me happy with no regrets.


¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
133307 Gift ÀÌ*¼Ö ¿Ï·á 2023-12-18 686
133306 I want to change my face alike jenny ¼­*Áø ¿Ï·á 2023-12-18 1010
133305 HOMEWORK: Please write a short paragraph about \"Is it important... ¾Ù* ¿Ï·á 2023-12-18 1
133304 homework Á¤*È£ ¿Ï·á 2023-12-18 0
133303 HOMEWORK FOR 12/14: Writing Task: Could children be gaslighted... ±è*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2023-12-18 1124
133302 Homework ½Å*È­ ¿Ï·á 2023-12-18 568
133301 Homework ½Å*È­ ¿Ï·á 2023-12-18 894
133300 Homework ½Å*È­ ¿Ï·á 2023-12-18 791
133299 Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-12-18 881
133298 What are some prejudices you have? ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-12-18 1
133297 My teeth are in good condition. ¹Ú*À² ¿Ï·á 2023-12-18 788
133296 Memorable experience ÀÓ*Áø ¿Ï·á 2023-12-18 612
133295 homework ±è*¸° ¿Ï·á 2023-12-18 1
133294 >> Do you think it¡¯s fair that so much of the world¡¯s wealth... ÀÌ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-12-18 806
133293 Best place in my country ¾ç*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-12-18 900
133292 Homework ±è*´Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-12-18 935
133291 Action to the confidential information ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2023-12-18 897
133290 Survey ¹Ú*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2023-12-18 1
133289 Letter ±Ç*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2023-12-18 1
133288 What would you do if you had a few extra hours in a day? ÇÏ*Çö ¿Ï·á 2023-12-17 0

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04