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How can part-time jobs during high school or college provide valuable opportunities for gaining work

작성자: 최*훈
2024-02-14 923

회원님의 영작문

Many students think about working is better than studying but If they have a part-time job, absolutely change their mind. It shows working is not easy. Usually, most of peoples look for a part time jobs for get money that to buy something or to live. Of course, they have a variety of purposes but It's certain to do it for money. In fact, most of college students need more money because they have a lot of responsibility and are the beginning of one’s independence. We need a lot of money for living. Like for the food, the house and the school costs. And they realize how hard it is to get money when they have a part -time jobs. Furthermore, as they work part-time jobs, they feel the necessity of stable job because they realize that part-time job is unable to do by a long run. Actually, that's a reason why many people struggle to get stable jobs.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hi Sarah! Thank you for sharing your opinion about getting part-time jobs as a student. Yes, it is difficult and challenging and you are right. For some people it is a necessity and they have no choice but to get a job. Great job! See you in class later!^^

~~ Teacher Ryka^^


Many students think about working is better than studying but If they have a part-time job, absolutely change their mind. 
>> Many students think that working is better than studying, but once they get a part-time job they'd absolutely change their mind.

It shows working is not easy. 
>> It shows that working is not easy.

Usually, most of peoples look for a part time jobs for get money that to buy something or to live. 
>> Usually, most people look for part-time jobs to earn money and buy things they want or for them to live.

Of course, they have a variety of purposes but It's certain to do it for money. 
>> Of course they have various reasons but it's certainly all for money.

In fact, most of college students need more money because they have a lot of responsibility and are the beginning of one’s independence. 
>> In fact, most college students need more money because they have a lot of responsibilities and they're in the beginning of becoming independent.

We need a lot of money for living.
>> CORRECT

Like for the food, the house and the school costs. 
>> Like for food, rent and school fees.

And they realize how hard it is to get money when they have a part -time jobs. 
>> And they start to realize how difficult it is to earn money when they get a part-time job.

Furthermore, as they work part-time jobs, they feel the necessity of stable job because they realize that part-time job is unable to do by a long run. 
>> Furthermore, as they're working in part-time job, they'd feel the necessity of finding a stable job because they'd realize that part-time jobs aren't good in the long run.

Actually, that's a reason why many people struggle to get stable jobs.
>> Actually, that's one reason why many people struggle to get stable jobs.

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