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영작교정 게시판

영어 말하기와 쓰기를 동시에 잡는다!

자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
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담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

Refer to the picture I sent you on Skype. Give me your thoughts in a different situation. 1. What wi

작성자: 황*은
2024-02-13 680

회원님의 영작문

1. I will tell them their behavior was really rude without any respect for art work and artist and I didn't made that artwork for being used for social movements. Also, I will tell them that it was not a good choice to make people hear their voice and they just lose many people who might have listened to their voice including me.
2. I heard that the Mona lisa is covered with many glasses that can block bullets so I would satisfy with destroying one glass at most. If I were that angry person who think people don't concern environment or agriculture, I would do the most noticable behavior I can do. For example, casting paint ball, , toy arrow that sticks to glass can be good. Because I want as many people as possible to listen to my voice. Or I can put some meaning like casting green tide to send my message.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hello Seong Eun!
For this homework, thank you for giving your thoughts on two different scenarios. I have seen two sides of you if you are the artist and if you are the protester. You have shown passion for what you are doing. Like Number 1, it shows how dedicated you are as an artist, and on number two, it also shows that you want your voice to be heard when you want to address something to someone.
Great job and keep it up!
T. Aki~

1. I will tell them their behavior was really rude without any respect for art work and artist and I didn't made that artwork for being used for social movements.
>>> I will tell them their behavior was really rude without any respect for the artwork and the artist and I didn't make that artwork to be used for social movements.

Also, I will tell them that it was not a good choice to make people hear their voice and they just lose many people who might have listened to their voice including me.
>>> Also, I will tell them that it was not a good choice to make people hear their voice and they just lose many people who might have listened to their voice including me.


2. I heard that the Mona lisa is covered with many glasses that can block bullets so I would satisfy with destroying one glass at most.
>>>   I heard that the Mona Lisa painting is covered with many glasses that can block bullets so I would be satisfied with destroying one glass at most.

If I were that angry person who think people don't concern environment or agriculture, I would do the most noticable behavior I can do.
>>> If I were that angry person who thinks people aren't concern environment or agriculture, I would do the most noticeable behavior I can do.

For example, casting paint ball, , toy arrow that sticks to glass can be good. Because I want as many people as possible to listen to my voice.
>>>  For example, casting a paintball, or toy arrow that sticks to glass can be good. Because I want as many people as possible to listen to my voice.

Or I can put some meaning like casting green tide to send my message.
>> CORRECT!


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첨삭이 가능하며,

올려주신 글의 강사님 첨삭은 24시간 이내에
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