¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ¹Ú*Çý
2024-02-12 563

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Usually, I like to buy online. because when I bought somethings I just need a phone than choose stuff.
So most of my clothes were bought online. and besides These days most peoples were use ¡®Carrot market¡¯. Carrot market is used article applications. I just setting near my house of location in app, than I can see what the neighbors are selling.
like furniture, home appliances or photo cards of some boy group.
So many stuffs were upload and many peoples regardless of age use the app than me too.
Recently I wanted change mood of my room. So I bought dressing table and I¡¯ve sold table and blind.
And I go to the store and buy somethings that touches my body after experiencing it. Like clothes and earphones..

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Su! Thank you for submitting your composition. I also enjoy ordering items online because of the convenience it offers. Please find the corrections below. Let me know if you have any questions.
-T.JAMIE

Usually, I like to buy online. because when I bought somethings I just need a phone than choose stuff.
>>Usually, I prefer to buy online because when I purchase something, I only need a phone to choose items.

So most of my clothes were bought online. and besides These days most peoples were use ¡®Carrot market¡¯. 
>> So most of my clothes were bought online, and besides, these days most people use 'Carrot Market'.

Carrot market is used article applications. 
>> Carrot Market is an application used for buying and selling various items.

I just setting near my house of location in app, than I can see what the neighbors are selling. like furniture, home appliances or photo cards of some boy group.
>> I just set my location near my house in the app, and then I can see what the neighbors are selling, such as furniture, home appliances, or photo cards of some boy group.

So many stuffs were upload and many peoples regardless of age use the app than me too.
>>So many items are uploaded, and people of all ages use the app, including myself.

Recently I wanted change mood of my room. So I bought dressing table and I¡¯ve sold table and blind.
>> Recently, I wanted to change the mood of my room. So, I bought a dressing table and sold the old table and blinds.

And I go to the store and buy somethings that touches my body after experiencing it. Like clothes and earphones..
>> And I go to the store to buy things that I want to physically touch and experience before purchasing, such as clothes and earphones.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
134178 homework 2024-01-25 ÀÌ*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2024-01-25 1
134177 Modern Technology is creating a single-world culture õ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-01-25 412
134176 Homework ±è*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2024-01-25 450
134175 stop ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2024-01-25 469
134174 Disparity between universities ¾ç*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-01-25 325
134173 The situation when I go to a buffet ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2024-01-25 361
134172 Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Modern... ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-01-25 1
134171 When you ask someone for a favor, what are the things you should... À±*ºó ¿Ï·á 2024-01-24 474
134170 Filling in Blanks ±è*À² ¿Ï·á 2024-01-24 401
134169 Filling in Blanks ±è*À² ¿Ï·á 2024-01-24 411
134168 home work ÃÖ*¼Ø ¿Ï·á 2024-01-24 223
134167 1 DAY HOMEWORK ÀÌ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-01-24 438
134166 2 DAY HOMEWORK ÀÌ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-01-24 342
134165 Write some advantages of having negative degrees Celsius... ¿À*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2024-01-24 0
134164 homework 01.24 ÃÖ*Ç ¿Ï·á 2024-01-24 731
134163 Homework Á¤*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2024-01-24 691
134162 Homework À±*¼± ¿Ï·á 2024-01-24 416
134161 Do you prefer face to face learning or study at home... ¼Û*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-01-24 259
134160 Living in a rural area ÀÌ*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-01-24 296
134159 homework ÀÌ*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2024-01-24 505

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04