¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ¹Ú*Çý
2024-02-12 537

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Usually, I like to buy online. because when I bought somethings I just need a phone than choose stuff.
So most of my clothes were bought online. and besides These days most peoples were use ¡®Carrot market¡¯. Carrot market is used article applications. I just setting near my house of location in app, than I can see what the neighbors are selling.
like furniture, home appliances or photo cards of some boy group.
So many stuffs were upload and many peoples regardless of age use the app than me too.
Recently I wanted change mood of my room. So I bought dressing table and I¡¯ve sold table and blind.
And I go to the store and buy somethings that touches my body after experiencing it. Like clothes and earphones..

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Su! Thank you for submitting your composition. I also enjoy ordering items online because of the convenience it offers. Please find the corrections below. Let me know if you have any questions.
-T.JAMIE

Usually, I like to buy online. because when I bought somethings I just need a phone than choose stuff.
>>Usually, I prefer to buy online because when I purchase something, I only need a phone to choose items.

So most of my clothes were bought online. and besides These days most peoples were use ¡®Carrot market¡¯. 
>> So most of my clothes were bought online, and besides, these days most people use 'Carrot Market'.

Carrot market is used article applications. 
>> Carrot Market is an application used for buying and selling various items.

I just setting near my house of location in app, than I can see what the neighbors are selling. like furniture, home appliances or photo cards of some boy group.
>> I just set my location near my house in the app, and then I can see what the neighbors are selling, such as furniture, home appliances, or photo cards of some boy group.

So many stuffs were upload and many peoples regardless of age use the app than me too.
>>So many items are uploaded, and people of all ages use the app, including myself.

Recently I wanted change mood of my room. So I bought dressing table and I¡¯ve sold table and blind.
>> Recently, I wanted to change the mood of my room. So, I bought a dressing table and sold the old table and blinds.

And I go to the store and buy somethings that touches my body after experiencing it. Like clothes and earphones..
>> And I go to the store to buy things that I want to physically touch and experience before purchasing, such as clothes and earphones.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
134428 When was a time that you felt lucky or blessed? ¼Û*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-02-02 263
134427 Movies that are popular in our country ÀÌ*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-02-02 404
134426 homework Á¤*È£ ¿Ï·á 2024-02-02 0
134425 homework Á¤*È£ ¿Ï·á 2024-02-02 0
134424 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2024-02-02 0
134423 Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-02-02 394
134422 What should you know about your country? ¹Ú*Çö ¿Ï·á 2024-02-02 199
134421 Why do you think interviewers ask about your interests or... õ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-02-02 422
134420 Homework (2024-02-02) ÀÓ*¼± ¿Ï·á 2024-02-02 212
134419 What is the best method of transportation when exploring a new... ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2024-02-02 424
134418 Homework ¹Ú*Çý ¿Ï·á 2024-02-02 229
134417 How can individuals maintain a healthy balance between virtual... ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2024-02-02 736
134416 What do you think is the most dangerous sport? ÃÖ*¼ø ¿Ï·á 2024-02-02 318
134415 Is there a kind of food that you will never eat? ÃÖ*¼ø ¿Ï·á 2024-02-02 591
134414 My Favorite Word ¹Ú*À² ¿Ï·á 2024-02-02 545
134413 homework3 ÇÑ*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2024-02-02 2
134412 homework 2024-02-02 ÀÌ*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2024-02-02 1
134411 Homework Àå*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2024-02-02 344
134410 4DAY HOMEWORK ÀÌ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-02-01 256
134409 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-02-01 275

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04