¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ¹Ú*Çý
2024-02-12 1524

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Usually, I like to buy online. because when I bought somethings I just need a phone than choose stuff.
So most of my clothes were bought online. and besides These days most peoples were use ¡®Carrot market¡¯. Carrot market is used article applications. I just setting near my house of location in app, than I can see what the neighbors are selling.
like furniture, home appliances or photo cards of some boy group.
So many stuffs were upload and many peoples regardless of age use the app than me too.
Recently I wanted change mood of my room. So I bought dressing table and I¡¯ve sold table and blind.
And I go to the store and buy somethings that touches my body after experiencing it. Like clothes and earphones..

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Su! Thank you for submitting your composition. I also enjoy ordering items online because of the convenience it offers. Please find the corrections below. Let me know if you have any questions.
-T.JAMIE

Usually, I like to buy online. because when I bought somethings I just need a phone than choose stuff.
>>Usually, I prefer to buy online because when I purchase something, I only need a phone to choose items.

So most of my clothes were bought online. and besides These days most peoples were use ¡®Carrot market¡¯. 
>> So most of my clothes were bought online, and besides, these days most people use 'Carrot Market'.

Carrot market is used article applications. 
>> Carrot Market is an application used for buying and selling various items.

I just setting near my house of location in app, than I can see what the neighbors are selling. like furniture, home appliances or photo cards of some boy group.
>> I just set my location near my house in the app, and then I can see what the neighbors are selling, such as furniture, home appliances, or photo cards of some boy group.

So many stuffs were upload and many peoples regardless of age use the app than me too.
>>So many items are uploaded, and people of all ages use the app, including myself.

Recently I wanted change mood of my room. So I bought dressing table and I¡¯ve sold table and blind.
>> Recently, I wanted to change the mood of my room. So, I bought a dressing table and sold the old table and blinds.

And I go to the store and buy somethings that touches my body after experiencing it. Like clothes and earphones..
>> And I go to the store to buy things that I want to physically touch and experience before purchasing, such as clothes and earphones.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
137751 Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-06-11 1161
137750 6/10 Home work Àå*ÈÞ ¿Ï·á 2024-06-11 2
137749 6/5 Home work Àå*ÈÞ ¿Ï·á 2024-06-11 2
137748 Gambling on sporting events ÀÌ*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-06-11 893
137747 HOMEWORK FOR 06.11.2024 WRITING TASK: How do you maintain a... ÀÓ*Áö ¿Ï·á 2024-06-11 3
137746 speaking task (day 1) ±è*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2024-06-11 713
137745 Raising animals for food contributes to air and water pollution. ¾È*À± ¿Ï·á 2024-06-11 1214
137744 Which do you like better, magazines or newspapers? ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2024-06-11 871
137743 Is time management important? Why? ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2024-06-11 1236
137742 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2024-06-11 0
137741 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2024-06-11 0
137740 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2024-06-11 0
137739 Do you think the ambiance is important in restaurants? ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2024-06-11 917
137738 How do you understand the statement: ¡°Beauty is skin deep¡±? ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2024-06-11 1379
137737 Which TV series made an impact in your life? ¹Ú*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-06-11 1256
137736 What kind of TV series would you like to be made soon? ¹Ú*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-06-11 982
137735 How are the employment opportunities in your country? ¹Ú*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-06-11 1627
137734 Homework ÇÑ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-06-11 1
137733 Do men or women make better friends? Does one gender have better... Ȳ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-06-11 1306
137732 Success ¾ç*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-06-11 1261

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04