¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ¹Ú*Çý
2024-02-12 679

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Usually, I like to buy online. because when I bought somethings I just need a phone than choose stuff.
So most of my clothes were bought online. and besides These days most peoples were use ¡®Carrot market¡¯. Carrot market is used article applications. I just setting near my house of location in app, than I can see what the neighbors are selling.
like furniture, home appliances or photo cards of some boy group.
So many stuffs were upload and many peoples regardless of age use the app than me too.
Recently I wanted change mood of my room. So I bought dressing table and I¡¯ve sold table and blind.
And I go to the store and buy somethings that touches my body after experiencing it. Like clothes and earphones..

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Su! Thank you for submitting your composition. I also enjoy ordering items online because of the convenience it offers. Please find the corrections below. Let me know if you have any questions.
-T.JAMIE

Usually, I like to buy online. because when I bought somethings I just need a phone than choose stuff.
>>Usually, I prefer to buy online because when I purchase something, I only need a phone to choose items.

So most of my clothes were bought online. and besides These days most peoples were use ¡®Carrot market¡¯. 
>> So most of my clothes were bought online, and besides, these days most people use 'Carrot Market'.

Carrot market is used article applications. 
>> Carrot Market is an application used for buying and selling various items.

I just setting near my house of location in app, than I can see what the neighbors are selling. like furniture, home appliances or photo cards of some boy group.
>> I just set my location near my house in the app, and then I can see what the neighbors are selling, such as furniture, home appliances, or photo cards of some boy group.

So many stuffs were upload and many peoples regardless of age use the app than me too.
>>So many items are uploaded, and people of all ages use the app, including myself.

Recently I wanted change mood of my room. So I bought dressing table and I¡¯ve sold table and blind.
>> Recently, I wanted to change the mood of my room. So, I bought a dressing table and sold the old table and blinds.

And I go to the store and buy somethings that touches my body after experiencing it. Like clothes and earphones..
>> And I go to the store to buy things that I want to physically touch and experience before purchasing, such as clothes and earphones.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
136324 What kind of person do you want to avoid? ±è*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2024-04-11 508
136323 What\'s the most popular symbol you know? Explain your answer. Â÷*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2024-04-11 441
136322 Responding ÀÓ*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-04-11 454
136321 homework 04.11 ÃÖ*Ç ¿Ï·á 2024-04-11 393
136320 Answer the questions  Â÷*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-04-11 398
136319 Homework ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2024-04-11 0
136318 How do you take care of your skin? ¼Û*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-04-11 497
136317 Homework Á¶*¶ó ¿Ï·á 2024-04-11 457
136316 homework ±è*º° ¿Ï·á 2024-04-11 1
136315 Homework ±Ç*À± ¿Ï·á 2024-04-11 0
136314 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-04-11 3
136313 How could art be appreciated and enjoyed by more people? ¹Ú*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-04-11 390
136312 Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-04-11 446
136311 Homework À±*¼± ¿Ï·á 2024-04-11 472
136310 What does success mean to you, and how do you plan to reach it? ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2024-04-11 473
136309 Mission statement of HYT salses ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2024-04-11 338
136308 Greeting as a new president of HYT sales ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2024-04-11 668
136307 Welcome to HYT sales department. ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2024-04-11 572
136306 Inspired ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2024-04-11 1
136305 Some people say breakfast is the most important meal of the day.... À±*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-04-11 1

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04