¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ¹Ú*Çý
2024-02-12 687

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Usually, I like to buy online. because when I bought somethings I just need a phone than choose stuff.
So most of my clothes were bought online. and besides These days most peoples were use ¡®Carrot market¡¯. Carrot market is used article applications. I just setting near my house of location in app, than I can see what the neighbors are selling.
like furniture, home appliances or photo cards of some boy group.
So many stuffs were upload and many peoples regardless of age use the app than me too.
Recently I wanted change mood of my room. So I bought dressing table and I¡¯ve sold table and blind.
And I go to the store and buy somethings that touches my body after experiencing it. Like clothes and earphones..

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Su! Thank you for submitting your composition. I also enjoy ordering items online because of the convenience it offers. Please find the corrections below. Let me know if you have any questions.
-T.JAMIE

Usually, I like to buy online. because when I bought somethings I just need a phone than choose stuff.
>>Usually, I prefer to buy online because when I purchase something, I only need a phone to choose items.

So most of my clothes were bought online. and besides These days most peoples were use ¡®Carrot market¡¯. 
>> So most of my clothes were bought online, and besides, these days most people use 'Carrot Market'.

Carrot market is used article applications. 
>> Carrot Market is an application used for buying and selling various items.

I just setting near my house of location in app, than I can see what the neighbors are selling. like furniture, home appliances or photo cards of some boy group.
>> I just set my location near my house in the app, and then I can see what the neighbors are selling, such as furniture, home appliances, or photo cards of some boy group.

So many stuffs were upload and many peoples regardless of age use the app than me too.
>>So many items are uploaded, and people of all ages use the app, including myself.

Recently I wanted change mood of my room. So I bought dressing table and I¡¯ve sold table and blind.
>> Recently, I wanted to change the mood of my room. So, I bought a dressing table and sold the old table and blinds.

And I go to the store and buy somethings that touches my body after experiencing it. Like clothes and earphones..
>> And I go to the store to buy things that I want to physically touch and experience before purchasing, such as clothes and earphones.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
136388 homework ÀÌ*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2024-04-15 551
136387 April 12th\'s homework ¾È*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2024-04-15 509
136386 Do you think beauty pageants should focus more on inner beauty... ¹Ú*È£ ¿Ï·á 2024-04-15 432
136385 Homework ±è*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2024-04-15 368
136384 What is the essence of flower festivals in your country? ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2024-04-15 635
136383 Do you have any favorite springtime activities from your... ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2024-04-15 407
136382 2024.04.12 ³²*·Ê ¿Ï·á 2024-04-15 352
136381 How have cars improved our lives or have caused more problems... ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2024-04-15 305
136380 What do you think about putting in effort but no progress? ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2024-04-15 496
136379 Something I would risk my life ¾ç*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-04-15 543
136378 12.Apr.2024 ±è*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2024-04-15 1
136377 Homework ±Ç*À± ¿Ï·á 2024-04-15 2
136376 What do you like about living in your neighborhood? Áø*È£ ¿Ï·á 2024-04-14 3
136375 How are your friendships different now than they were when you... ±è*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2024-04-14 484
136374 What do you borrow from your friends? ¸Í*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2024-04-14 424
136373 What do say when you want to know if a person needs help? Write... Â÷*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-04-14 546
136372 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-04-14 2
136371 Homework À±*¼± ¿Ï·á 2024-04-14 432
136370 HOMEWORK FOR 04.12.2024 WRITING TASK: Which chore do you like... ÀÓ*Áö ¿Ï·á 2024-04-14 5
136369 What are your thoughts on Korean fashion? Â÷*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2024-04-14 566

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04