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Should exclusive schools for boys or girls be abolished in your country? Why?

작성자: 황*은
2024-02-07 749

회원님의 영작문

I think they should be abolished. Because in those schools, there is no chance to learn about the other gender. In Korea, many people who have graduated from those schools say they are in difficult when they talk or hang out with girls or boys.
Also, I think those schools hinder for girls(or boys) to understand boys(or girls), which makes gender issues get worse. Some people only consider what they have lost without trying to understand each other and those schools definitely hinder to understand each other.
Finally, if they don't encounter girls or boys, it can be hard for them to think about their emotion, which means they may like the same gender without having sufficient chance to think about their tendency.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Good morning, Seong Eun!
You're right about that! I guess it's about time that the education system dumped the traditional ways we had in the past where girls and boys were separated because of being conservative. We are now in a modern age, where everything should be balanced.
See you in class!
T. Aki~

I think they should be abolished. Because in those schools, there is no chance to learn about the other gender.
>>> CORRECT!

In Korea, many people who have graduated from those schools say they are in difficult when they talk or hang out with girls or boys.
>>> In Korea, many people who have graduated from those schools say they have difficulty when they talk or hang out with girls or boys.

Also, I think those schools hinder for girls(or boys) to understand boys(or girls), which makes gender issues get worse.
>>> I also think that those schools hinder girls(or boys) from understanding boys(or girls), which makes gender issues get worse.

Some people only consider what they have lost without trying to understand each other and those schools definitely hinder to understand each other.
>>> Some people only consider what they have lost without trying to understand each other and those schools hinder them from understanding each other

Finally, if they don't encounter girls or boys, it can be hard for them to think about their emotion, which means they may like the same gender without having sufficient chance to think about their tendency.
>>>  Finally, if they don't encounter girls or boys, it can be hard for them to think about their emotions, which means they may like the same gender without having sufficient chance to think about their tendencies.

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