¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Describe a memorable holiday you have had. Where did you go? What did you do? Why was it memorable?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÃÖ*ÈÆ
2024-02-07 2070

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I had a time with my best friend on Christmas,2021 before I had graduation of the middle school. It\'s the first time to have a time on Christmas with my best friend. And, so I was very happy about that. I can\'t think detailedly all about what did we do and go. We went to the city of Jeju where most people usually hang out. I saw a lot of people at there because Christmas is big holiday. Anyway, we took a picture of four snapshots of life that is famous in Korea so we do it whenever we hang out. Actually, I have a lot of four snapshots in my room lol. And then, we went back my home together for a slumber party. We made the tree of bulb and wore the headband of Rudolph !! It was typical christmas day by anyone\'s eyes. The day of holiday was perfect and good. However, I was so sad because my best friend was going to move to another area where isn\'t Jeju Island. It\'s ok !! we can meet during vacation.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hey Sarah! This was an awesome and sad experience. I hope you get to see your best friend more often. I'm glad you were able to share this with me. Have a great day! ^^

~~ Teacher Ryka^^


I had a time with my best friend on Christmas,2021 before I had graduation of the middle school. 
>>  I had some time with my best friend during Christmas last 2021 before graduating from middle school.

It\'s the first time to have a time on Christmas with my best friend. 
>> It was the first time to spend Christmas with my best friend.

And, so I was very happy about that. 
>> CORRECT.

I can\'t think detailedly all about what did we do and go. 
>> I couldn't think clearly about our plans.

We went to the city of Jeju where most people usually hang out. 
>> CORRECT

I saw a lot of people at there because Christmas is big holiday. 
>> There was a lot of people because Christmas is a big holiday.

Anyway, we took a picture of four snapshots of life that is famous in Korea so we do it whenever we hang out. 
>> Even with all that, we took four snapshots of life that is famous in Korea. We do that whenever we hang out.

Actually, I have a lot of four snapshots in my room lol. 
>> To be honest, I have a lot of these snapshots in my room. LOL

And then, we went back my home together for a slumber party. 
>> Then we went back home for a slumber party.

We made the tree of bulb and wore the headband of Rudolph !! 
>> We made some bulbs for the tree and wore a Rudolph headband.

It was typical christmas day by anyone\'s eyes. 
>> It was a typical Christmas day for anyone.

The day of holiday was perfect and good. 
>> The day of the holiday was perfect and good.

However, I was so sad because my best friend was going to move to another area where isn\'t Jeju Island. 
>> However, I was sad because my best friend was moving to another place outside of Jeju Island.

It\'s ok !! we can meet during vacation.
>> But, it's okay. We can still meet on vacations.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
141862 \'collective intelligence\' ÇÑ*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2025-01-09 543
141861 I can¡¯t study today and tomorrow ±è*³ª ¿Ï·á 2025-01-09 0
141860 Which is your busiest day of the week? ÀÌ*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2025-01-09 502
141859 How much do you like eating out? ÀÌ*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2025-01-09 636
141858 Homework 2 ÀÌ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2025-01-08 573
141857 homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2025-01-08 1
141856 Please change difficult words to easy words and correct them so... ÀÌ*ÀÎ ¿Ï·á 2025-01-08 679
141855 Please change difficult words to easy words and correct them so... ÀÌ*ÀÎ ¿Ï·á 2025-01-08 586
141854 How do you plan to fund your studies? Á¶*¸í ¿Ï·á 2025-01-08 1
141853 homework ½Å*¶ó ¿Ï·á 2025-01-08 564
141852 What can we do to improve our relationship with our friends? ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2025-01-08 688
141851 I like looking at the moon. À¯*ºó ¿Ï·á 2025-01-08 671
141850 250108 homework ±è*¼º ¿Ï·á 2025-01-08 0
141849 Challenge will make me better person ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2025-01-08 1
141848 What have you lost while traveling? ¼­*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2025-01-08 1
141847 Home work ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2025-01-08 654
141846 How do you spend meaningful times with your friends? ¼Û*ÀÚ ¿Ï·á 2025-01-08 1
141845 Homework ÀÌ*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2025-01-08 674
141844 06Jan2025_ Homework ±è*¶ó ¿Ï·á 2025-01-08 552
141843 happiness and economic success ÇÑ*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2025-01-08 592

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04