¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

What do you think is the worst kind of crime?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ½Å*¼·
2024-02-06 1101

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I think the worst crime is a child sex offense. There are many kind of people around the world. However, some strangers rape child. And then, some people make a porno with child. Normally, people don't try thinking of it. But, only few strangers make a vibe scared. Another crime is a firearm accident only in the USA. Most people in the USA have their guns. That's why the firearm accident rate is high. They claim if you don't have own gun, you won't protect yourself. I can't understand the insistence. Of course, the states is the biggest country, the police can't control all of the areas. I believe there is an another way.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi, Eric!
Thank you so much for taking time in answering the question. Your ideas and opinions are on point. Keep it up! :)
~ T. Camille


I think the worst crime is a child sex offense. 
>> I think the worst crime is a child and sex offense. 
There are many kind of people around the world. 
>> There are many kinds of people around the world. 
However, some strangers rape child. 
>> However, some strangers rape a child. 
OR >> >> However, some strangers rape children.
And then, some people make a porno with child. 
>> And then, some people involve children with pornography.
Normally, people don't try thinking of it. 
>> Normally, people don't try to think about it. 
But, only few strangers make a vibe scared. 
>> CORRECT!
Another crime is a firearm accident only in the USA. 
>> CORRECT!
Most people in the USA have their guns. 
>> CORRECT!
That's why the firearm accident rate is high. 
>> CORRECT!
They claim if you don't have own gun, you won't protect yourself. 
>> They claim that if you don't have your own gun, you won't be able to protect yourself. 
I can't understand the insistence. 
>> CORRECT!
Of course, the states is the biggest country, the police can't control all of the areas. 
>> CORRECT!
I believe there is an another way.
>> I believe there is another way.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
131609 WRITING TASK: If they made a movie about your life, what kind of... ÀÓ*Áö ¿Ï·á 2023-10-12 6
131608 Why is honesty so difficult at times? ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-12 3
131607 Who is always there to help you? ÀÌ*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-10-12 2496
131606 Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-10-12 2778
131605 smoke problem Á¤*¾È ¿Ï·á 2023-10-12 1640
131604 test title Te*002 ¿Ï·á 2023-10-12 2
131603 Why is English fluency significant for you? ÀÌ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-12 4
131602 HOMEWORK- 231012 ¾ç*¾Ö ¿Ï·á 2023-10-12 1
131601 trust ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-12 1802
131600 homework Á¤*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-12 6
131599 11.Oct.2023 ±è*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-12 1
131598 a housewarming culture ·ù*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2023-10-12 3
131597 Homework ½Å*È­ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-12 3059
131596 Homework ±è*´Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-10-12 2593
131595 homwork ¹Ú*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-12 0
131594 Is spanking a good way to discipline children? Why or why not? Á¶*Áö ¿Ï·á 2023-10-12 0
131593 Have you ever experienced a \"once-in-a-lifetime\" event? What... ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2023-10-12 2119
131592 How nutritious is bread? What is your favorite spread to put on... ±è*¼ø ¿Ï·á 2023-10-11 2372
131591 Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? You... ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-10-11 2
131590 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-10-11 2048

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04