¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

What do you think is the worst kind of crime?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ½Å*¼·
2024-02-06 1014

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I think the worst crime is a child sex offense. There are many kind of people around the world. However, some strangers rape child. And then, some people make a porno with child. Normally, people don't try thinking of it. But, only few strangers make a vibe scared. Another crime is a firearm accident only in the USA. Most people in the USA have their guns. That's why the firearm accident rate is high. They claim if you don't have own gun, you won't protect yourself. I can't understand the insistence. Of course, the states is the biggest country, the police can't control all of the areas. I believe there is an another way.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi, Eric!
Thank you so much for taking time in answering the question. Your ideas and opinions are on point. Keep it up! :)
~ T. Camille


I think the worst crime is a child sex offense. 
>> I think the worst crime is a child and sex offense. 
There are many kind of people around the world. 
>> There are many kinds of people around the world. 
However, some strangers rape child. 
>> However, some strangers rape a child. 
OR >> >> However, some strangers rape children.
And then, some people make a porno with child. 
>> And then, some people involve children with pornography.
Normally, people don't try thinking of it. 
>> Normally, people don't try to think about it. 
But, only few strangers make a vibe scared. 
>> CORRECT!
Another crime is a firearm accident only in the USA. 
>> CORRECT!
Most people in the USA have their guns. 
>> CORRECT!
That's why the firearm accident rate is high. 
>> CORRECT!
They claim if you don't have own gun, you won't protect yourself. 
>> They claim that if you don't have your own gun, you won't be able to protect yourself. 
I can't understand the insistence. 
>> CORRECT!
Of course, the states is the biggest country, the police can't control all of the areas. 
>> CORRECT!
I believe there is an another way.
>> I believe there is another way.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
132819 way to have positive mind ÀÌ*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-11-29 2291
132818 The convenience store ÀÌ*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-11-28 1342
132817 How the transportation is friendly °­*À² ¿Ï·á 2023-11-28 1
132816 homework ¾È*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-28 1959
132815 What¡¯s your view on street art? Does it make the environment... Á¶*Áö ¿Ï·á 2023-11-28 0
132814 Would you rather be big like an elephant or small like a mouse?... ÀÌ*ºó ¿Ï·á 2023-11-28 1477
132813 A Visit to the Park: Describe a visit to a park. What did you do... ÀÌ*ºó ¿Ï·á 2023-11-28 1767
132812 What does it mean when you say, \"We are the architects of our... ÀÌ*ºó ¿Ï·á 2023-11-28 1273
132811 Have you ever hlped anyone? If yes, write about it. If not, then... ¿À*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-28 1
132810 Do you think leaders of the country must consider historical... ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-11-28 1
132809 Lost ¿°*¿¹ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-28 2
132808 homework 11.28 ÃÖ*Ç ¿Ï·á 2023-11-28 1362
132807 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-11-28 2215
132806 Homework ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-28 2
132805 Homework ±è*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-28 2114
132804 Money ÀÌ*È­ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-28 2089
132803 How would the world be different if everyone on the planet... ¿¡*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-11-28 1
132802 HOMEWORK: Please write a short paragraph about \"Do you think... ¾Ù* ¿Ï·á 2023-11-28 2
132801 WRITING TASK: What are the benefits of buying expensive products? ÀÓ*Áö ¿Ï·á 2023-11-28 4
132800 Would you rather grow wings to fly or gills to breathe underwater ¼Û*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-11-28 1548

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04