¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

What do you think is the worst kind of crime?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ½Å*¼·
2024-02-06 959

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I think the worst crime is a child sex offense. There are many kind of people around the world. However, some strangers rape child. And then, some people make a porno with child. Normally, people don't try thinking of it. But, only few strangers make a vibe scared. Another crime is a firearm accident only in the USA. Most people in the USA have their guns. That's why the firearm accident rate is high. They claim if you don't have own gun, you won't protect yourself. I can't understand the insistence. Of course, the states is the biggest country, the police can't control all of the areas. I believe there is an another way.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi, Eric!
Thank you so much for taking time in answering the question. Your ideas and opinions are on point. Keep it up! :)
~ T. Camille


I think the worst crime is a child sex offense. 
>> I think the worst crime is a child and sex offense. 
There are many kind of people around the world. 
>> There are many kinds of people around the world. 
However, some strangers rape child. 
>> However, some strangers rape a child. 
OR >> >> However, some strangers rape children.
And then, some people make a porno with child. 
>> And then, some people involve children with pornography.
Normally, people don't try thinking of it. 
>> Normally, people don't try to think about it. 
But, only few strangers make a vibe scared. 
>> CORRECT!
Another crime is a firearm accident only in the USA. 
>> CORRECT!
Most people in the USA have their guns. 
>> CORRECT!
That's why the firearm accident rate is high. 
>> CORRECT!
They claim if you don't have own gun, you won't protect yourself. 
>> They claim that if you don't have your own gun, you won't be able to protect yourself. 
I can't understand the insistence. 
>> CORRECT!
Of course, the states is the biggest country, the police can't control all of the areas. 
>> CORRECT!
I believe there is an another way.
>> I believe there is another way.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
133448 What do you like doing in winter? ±Ç*ÀÓ ¿Ï·á 2023-12-26 3
133447 Smartphone ÀÓ*Áø ¿Ï·á 2023-12-26 2008
133446 WRITING TASK: What do you like on a rainy day? ÀÓ*Áö ¿Ï·á 2023-12-26 3
133445 HOMEWORK FOR 12.22.2023 WRITING TASK: How do funny people affect... ÀÓ*Áö ¿Ï·á 2023-12-26 2
133444 Learning English ÀÓ*Áø ¿Ï·á 2023-12-26 1278
133443 Homework ±è*´Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-12-25 1163
133442 Appreciation. ±è*±¹ ¿Ï·á 2023-12-25 1498
133441 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-12-25 1997
133440 How do you understand this: ¡°When in Rome, do as the Romans... ±Ç*Áö ¿Ï·á 2023-12-25 2
133439 About five old Palaces in Seoul. ±è*±¹ ¿Ï·á 2023-12-25 1
133438 About the Korean National flag. ±è*±¹ ¿Ï·á 2023-12-25 1
133437 What YV show do you like watching? Why? ÃÖ*ÇÑ ¿Ï·á 2023-12-25 1436
133436 >> What is the best financial decision you have ever made? ÀÌ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-12-25 2
133435 Artists ¿°*¿¹ ¿Ï·á 2023-12-25 1
133434 I think the cycling sport is great. ¿À*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2023-12-25 0
133433 Sport ¿°*¿¹ ¿Ï·á 2023-12-25 1
133432 Stress ¿°*¿¹ ¿Ï·á 2023-12-25 1
133431 Please check my diary grammar and sentence!! ±è*Àº ¿Ï·á 2023-12-24 1326
133430 Homework ½Å*È­ ¿Ï·á 2023-12-24 1722
133429 Homework ½Å*È­ ¿Ï·á 2023-12-24 1128

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04