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담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
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Homework

작성자: 김*
2024-02-06 537

회원님의 영작문

What do you think is the advantage of being an entrepreneur?


In my opinion, I really respect people who are into entrepreneur. Even it follows high risks and tough works such as manage to everything which is related with their own business. _ It's going to be really stressful. But after start-up, when they maintain their company stably, they can try to achieve their goals. For example, Developing technology, selling high quality of products, arranging delicious food. If their business succeed greatly, they could earn enormous amount of money, then naturally they could increase the power of their own country in a economic effect. Like Samsung, Apple, Tesla, Amazon. They could donate to people in need as well.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Good day, Geon!
I guess some people were born to be entrepreneurs. They have a talent to expand their business. Nowadays, there are a lot of people engaging in small-medium business, they are admirable for their hardships.
Talk with you later.
T. Aki~

In my opinion, I really respect people who are into entrepreneur.
>>> In my opinion, I respect people who are into entrepreneurship.
>>> I have a high respect for entrepreneurs.

Even it follows high risks and tough works such as manage to everything which is related with their own business.
>>> Even if it follows high risks and tough work such as managing everything related to their own business.

It's going to be stressful. But after start-up, when they maintain their company stably, they can try to achieve their goals.
>> > CORRECT!

For example, Developing technology, selling high quality of products, arranging delicious food.
>>> For example, Developing technology, selling high-quality products, and arranging delicious food.

If their business succeed greatly, they could earn enormous amount of money, then naturally they could increase the power of their own country in a economic effect. Like Samsung, Apple, Tesla, Amazon.
>>> If their business succeeds greatly, they could earn an enormous amount of money, and then naturally they could increase the power of their own country with an economic effect, l
Believeefike Samsung, Apple, Tesla, Amazon

They could donate to people in need as well.
>> > CORRECT!

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