¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

homework4

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÇÑ*¿µ
2024-02-05 1955

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I¡¯ve never thought that men and woman have different way of getting angry. But I think depending on personality, the way of their anger is different. Some people hold back anger, or some people, when they are angry and express their anger immediately.
I am very shy and afraid of express how I feel, because I am worried about people¡¯s feeling than mine. Even if I am in unfair situation, I usually hold back anger and try to act nothing happened. I try not to make me feel bad. Actually I just don¡¯t have the courage to fight against unfair. Sometimes even if it¡¯s me, I express anger. If the unfair situation is continued and it goes beyond what I can control, my anger explodes. So, people are surprised by me. I envy people who can control their feeling. Some people, if they get anger, they try to solve the problem rationally.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Your essay provides insightful reflections on how individuals handle anger based on their personalities. It's brave of you to acknowledge your own challenges in expressing anger and to recognize the courage needed to confront unfair situations.  Your honesty further adds depth to your writing.  Keep exploring and expressing your thoughts with such introspection! 
~T.Harmony <3

I¡¯ve never thought that men and woman have different way of getting angry. 
>> I've never thought that men and women have different ways of getting angry.
OR>> It never crossed my mind that men and women...

But I think depending on personality, the way of their anger is different. 
>> But I think depending on the personality, the way they get angry is different.

Some people hold back anger, or some people, when they are angry and express their anger immediately.
>> CORRECT!

I am very shy and afraid of express how I feel, because I am worried about people¡¯s feeling than mine. 
>> I am very shy and I'm afraid of expressing how I feel because I am more worried about people's feelings than mine.

Even if I am in unfair situation, I usually hold back anger and try to act nothing happened. 
>> Even if I am in an unfair situation, I usually hold back my anger and try to act like nothing happened.

I try not to make me feel bad. 
>> CORRECT!

Actually I just don¡¯t have the courage to fight against unfair. 
>> In all honesty, I just don't have the courage to fight against unfair people.

Sometimes even if it¡¯s me, I express anger.
>> CORRECT!

If the unfair situation is continued and it goes beyond what I can control, my anger explodes. 
>> ......, I explode in anger.

So, people are surprised by me. 
>> CORRECT!

I envy people who can control their feeling. 
>> I envy people who can control their emotions.

Some people, if they get anger, they try to solve the problem rationally.
>> Some people who feel anger try to rationally solve the problem.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
127708 Homework ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2023-04-23 1
127707 Homework ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2023-04-23 1
127706 Homework ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2023-04-23 1
127705 Homework ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2023-04-23 0
127704 What do you upload and download most on the internet? ±¸*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-04-22 1
127703 Write about the things you can see in your room and drescri be... ¿À*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2023-04-22 1
127702 1. Is mental health as important as your physical health? 2.... ±è*±¹ ¿Ï·á 2023-04-22 2
127701 Why do you think K-pop is becoming more popular? ÀÌ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-04-22 1568
127700 I need just one friend. À±*Çý ¿Ï·á 2023-04-22 1708
127699 What is your favorite holiday and why? ¹Ú*Çö ¿Ï·á 2023-04-22 843
127698 time flies so fast ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2023-04-22 2
127697 Do you prefer travelling though the countryside or the city? Why? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2023-04-22 1810
127696 Homework ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-04-22 2
127695 Homework ¼Û*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-04-21 1168
127694 4.21 homework ±Ç*¸² ¿Ï·á 2023-04-21 884
127693 Homework ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2023-04-21 0
127692 When I ate too much and ate too little. ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2023-04-21 1028
127691 homework ¹Ú*°æ ¿Ï·á 2023-04-21 915
127690 homework ¹Ú*°æ ¿Ï·á 2023-04-21 1111
127689 homework ½Å*Çö ¿Ï·á 2023-04-21 1

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04