¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

homework4

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÇÑ*¿µ
2024-02-05 1671

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I¡¯ve never thought that men and woman have different way of getting angry. But I think depending on personality, the way of their anger is different. Some people hold back anger, or some people, when they are angry and express their anger immediately.
I am very shy and afraid of express how I feel, because I am worried about people¡¯s feeling than mine. Even if I am in unfair situation, I usually hold back anger and try to act nothing happened. I try not to make me feel bad. Actually I just don¡¯t have the courage to fight against unfair. Sometimes even if it¡¯s me, I express anger. If the unfair situation is continued and it goes beyond what I can control, my anger explodes. So, people are surprised by me. I envy people who can control their feeling. Some people, if they get anger, they try to solve the problem rationally.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Your essay provides insightful reflections on how individuals handle anger based on their personalities. It's brave of you to acknowledge your own challenges in expressing anger and to recognize the courage needed to confront unfair situations.  Your honesty further adds depth to your writing.  Keep exploring and expressing your thoughts with such introspection! 
~T.Harmony <3

I¡¯ve never thought that men and woman have different way of getting angry. 
>> I've never thought that men and women have different ways of getting angry.
OR>> It never crossed my mind that men and women...

But I think depending on personality, the way of their anger is different. 
>> But I think depending on the personality, the way they get angry is different.

Some people hold back anger, or some people, when they are angry and express their anger immediately.
>> CORRECT!

I am very shy and afraid of express how I feel, because I am worried about people¡¯s feeling than mine. 
>> I am very shy and I'm afraid of expressing how I feel because I am more worried about people's feelings than mine.

Even if I am in unfair situation, I usually hold back anger and try to act nothing happened. 
>> Even if I am in an unfair situation, I usually hold back my anger and try to act like nothing happened.

I try not to make me feel bad. 
>> CORRECT!

Actually I just don¡¯t have the courage to fight against unfair. 
>> In all honesty, I just don't have the courage to fight against unfair people.

Sometimes even if it¡¯s me, I express anger.
>> CORRECT!

If the unfair situation is continued and it goes beyond what I can control, my anger explodes. 
>> ......, I explode in anger.

So, people are surprised by me. 
>> CORRECT!

I envy people who can control their feeling. 
>> I envy people who can control their emotions.

Some people, if they get anger, they try to solve the problem rationally.
>> Some people who feel anger try to rationally solve the problem.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
129974 Choose one that you like chocolate, ice cream or candies why? ¼Û*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-08-04 2024
129973 Homework ÁÖ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-04 2505
129972 How can pets contribute to the overall well-being and... ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2023-08-04 3641
129971 How do you conserve energy? ±¸*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-08-04 2184
129970 What are some ways in saving the earth? ±¸*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-08-04 2745
129969 My personality with some adjectives. ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-04 2979
129968 What kind of self-defense do you know? ÀÌ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-04 2326
129967 HOMEWORK FOR THE STUDENT: When do you prefer having a family... ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-04 1550
129966 The importance of team work ¼º*°æ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-04 2551
129965 What makes you happy? Why? °­*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-04 2473
129964 Today(8/4) absence ÀÓ*Çö ¿Ï·á 2023-08-04 0
129963 Writing task ¾È*Çü ¿Ï·á 2023-08-04 2346
129962 Homework JA*UNG CHUNG ¿Ï·á 2023-08-04 3246
129961 If you made a video about August, what would you put in it? ÀÌ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-08-04 2506
129960 Homework ½Å*È­ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-04 2831
129959 Homework Á¤*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-04 2574
129958 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-03 2636
129957 Do you think a diverse population is good for your country? ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-08-03 2
129956 Do you think cramming, parroting, or just memorizing is a good... ¾ö*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-03 3231
129955 What are your ideal working conditions? º¹*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-03 1

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04