¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

homework4

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÇÑ*¿µ
2024-02-05 1207

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I¡¯ve never thought that men and woman have different way of getting angry. But I think depending on personality, the way of their anger is different. Some people hold back anger, or some people, when they are angry and express their anger immediately.
I am very shy and afraid of express how I feel, because I am worried about people¡¯s feeling than mine. Even if I am in unfair situation, I usually hold back anger and try to act nothing happened. I try not to make me feel bad. Actually I just don¡¯t have the courage to fight against unfair. Sometimes even if it¡¯s me, I express anger. If the unfair situation is continued and it goes beyond what I can control, my anger explodes. So, people are surprised by me. I envy people who can control their feeling. Some people, if they get anger, they try to solve the problem rationally.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Your essay provides insightful reflections on how individuals handle anger based on their personalities. It's brave of you to acknowledge your own challenges in expressing anger and to recognize the courage needed to confront unfair situations.  Your honesty further adds depth to your writing.  Keep exploring and expressing your thoughts with such introspection! 
~T.Harmony <3

I¡¯ve never thought that men and woman have different way of getting angry. 
>> I've never thought that men and women have different ways of getting angry.
OR>> It never crossed my mind that men and women...

But I think depending on personality, the way of their anger is different. 
>> But I think depending on the personality, the way they get angry is different.

Some people hold back anger, or some people, when they are angry and express their anger immediately.
>> CORRECT!

I am very shy and afraid of express how I feel, because I am worried about people¡¯s feeling than mine. 
>> I am very shy and I'm afraid of expressing how I feel because I am more worried about people's feelings than mine.

Even if I am in unfair situation, I usually hold back anger and try to act nothing happened. 
>> Even if I am in an unfair situation, I usually hold back my anger and try to act like nothing happened.

I try not to make me feel bad. 
>> CORRECT!

Actually I just don¡¯t have the courage to fight against unfair. 
>> In all honesty, I just don't have the courage to fight against unfair people.

Sometimes even if it¡¯s me, I express anger.
>> CORRECT!

If the unfair situation is continued and it goes beyond what I can control, my anger explodes. 
>> ......, I explode in anger.

So, people are surprised by me. 
>> CORRECT!

I envy people who can control their feeling. 
>> I envy people who can control their emotions.

Some people, if they get anger, they try to solve the problem rationally.
>> Some people who feel anger try to rationally solve the problem.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
134232 Supporting my opinion ÀÌ*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-01-26 1387
134231 Would you rather be rich and unhappy or poor and happy? ÃÖ*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2024-01-26 666
134230 Holiday ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2024-01-26 2
134229 1/24 homework ÇÑ*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2024-01-26 3
134228 Which viewpoint do you agree with? ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2024-01-26 1083
134227 Homework Àå*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2024-01-26 778
134226 Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-01-26 833
134225 What do you consider first when buying appliances? ÃÖ*Çý ¿Ï·á 2024-01-26 0
134224 Do you share problems with your friends? Why or Why not? ÃÖ*Çý ¿Ï·á 2024-01-26 0
134223 It\'like to become friend more than enslave. °í*È£ ¿Ï·á 2024-01-26 875
134222 If you possessed a time machine ? ±è*Áö ¿Ï·á 2024-01-26 3
134221 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2024-01-26 1
134220 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2024-01-26 0
134219 WRITING TASK: If you could go to the Vatican, what would be your... ÀÓ*Áö ¿Ï·á 2024-01-26 2
134218 Importance of having a hobby ¹Ú*À² ¿Ï·á 2024-01-26 701
134217 homework ±è*¸° ¿Ï·á 2024-01-26 1
134216 People have their own ideas and preferences. In your case, what... ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2024-01-26 1070
134215 homework 2024-01-26 ÀÌ*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2024-01-26 2
134214 Homework for 1/25 do*eun ¿Ï·á 2024-01-26 1009
134213 Happy FTI ! do*eun ¿Ï·á 2024-01-26 1027

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04