¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

homework4

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÇÑ*¿µ
2024-02-05 1327

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I¡¯ve never thought that men and woman have different way of getting angry. But I think depending on personality, the way of their anger is different. Some people hold back anger, or some people, when they are angry and express their anger immediately.
I am very shy and afraid of express how I feel, because I am worried about people¡¯s feeling than mine. Even if I am in unfair situation, I usually hold back anger and try to act nothing happened. I try not to make me feel bad. Actually I just don¡¯t have the courage to fight against unfair. Sometimes even if it¡¯s me, I express anger. If the unfair situation is continued and it goes beyond what I can control, my anger explodes. So, people are surprised by me. I envy people who can control their feeling. Some people, if they get anger, they try to solve the problem rationally.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Your essay provides insightful reflections on how individuals handle anger based on their personalities. It's brave of you to acknowledge your own challenges in expressing anger and to recognize the courage needed to confront unfair situations.  Your honesty further adds depth to your writing.  Keep exploring and expressing your thoughts with such introspection! 
~T.Harmony <3

I¡¯ve never thought that men and woman have different way of getting angry. 
>> I've never thought that men and women have different ways of getting angry.
OR>> It never crossed my mind that men and women...

But I think depending on personality, the way of their anger is different. 
>> But I think depending on the personality, the way they get angry is different.

Some people hold back anger, or some people, when they are angry and express their anger immediately.
>> CORRECT!

I am very shy and afraid of express how I feel, because I am worried about people¡¯s feeling than mine. 
>> I am very shy and I'm afraid of expressing how I feel because I am more worried about people's feelings than mine.

Even if I am in unfair situation, I usually hold back anger and try to act nothing happened. 
>> Even if I am in an unfair situation, I usually hold back my anger and try to act like nothing happened.

I try not to make me feel bad. 
>> CORRECT!

Actually I just don¡¯t have the courage to fight against unfair. 
>> In all honesty, I just don't have the courage to fight against unfair people.

Sometimes even if it¡¯s me, I express anger.
>> CORRECT!

If the unfair situation is continued and it goes beyond what I can control, my anger explodes. 
>> ......, I explode in anger.

So, people are surprised by me. 
>> CORRECT!

I envy people who can control their feeling. 
>> I envy people who can control their emotions.

Some people, if they get anger, they try to solve the problem rationally.
>> Some people who feel anger try to rationally solve the problem.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
136136 What do you usually order in your favorite restaurant? ¸Í*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2024-04-04 1333
136135 Homework Àå*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2024-04-04 1305
136134 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-04-04 1
136133 What are the questions you ask yourself before inviting someone? ±è*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2024-04-04 1190
136132 What kind of feelings do you usually feel every day? Write about... Â÷*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-04-04 1230
136131 How are you different from your best friend? Describe your... Â÷*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2024-04-04 1626
136130 What do you think the importance of traveling is? ½Å*È£ ¿Ï·á 2024-04-04 2
136129 Running low ÀÌ*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-04-04 1444
136128 Do you think it\'s important to stand up for what you believe... ¿¡*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2024-04-04 2
136127 Homework ±è*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2024-04-04 1108
136126 To prefer to be a leader than a follower ÃÖ*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2024-04-04 968
136125 WRITING TASK: What are the key differences between various types... ÀÓ*Áö ¿Ï·á 2024-04-04 6
136124 HOMEWORK: Please write a short paragraph about \"What do you do... ¾Ù* ¿Ï·á 2024-04-04 1
136123 companion animal ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2024-04-04 0
136122 I use the sentence words ½Å*Áö ¿Ï·á 2024-04-04 746
136121 When are the best times for silence? Some people say that... ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-04-04 839
136120 Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-04-04 937
136119 Homework À±*¼± ¿Ï·á 2024-04-04 1069
136118 Talk about a memorable meal you have had. ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2024-04-04 1102
136117 Talk about a problem in your community and propose a solution. ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2024-04-04 1211

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04