¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Homework (2024-02-02)

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÀÓ*¼±
2024-02-02 1053

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

HOMEWORK FOR TODAY:
ESSAY: Extreme sports such as skydiving and rock climbing are very dangerous and should be banned. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this view?

I agree that extreme sports such as skydiving and rock climbing are very dangerous, but I disagree that they should be banned.
There are lots of various activities or sports that people like.
People have the right to enjoy their favorite sports.
However, they must do with protective equipments and there must be no impact on other people or environments.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi there Ms. Sunny~!^^ Thank you for doing your first homework. Enjoy writing as you reach your goals as far as improving your English skills are concerned. Good job for your first homework. Have a great weekend! 
>>> TEACHER GEMMA 
I agree that extreme sports such as skydiving and rock climbing are very dangerous, but I disagree that they should be banned.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
There are lots of various activities or sports that people like.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
People have the right to enjoy their favorite sports.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
However, they must do with protective equipment and there must be no impact on other people or environments.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
131971 homework_231026 ÇÑ*·Ï ¿Ï·á 2023-10-27 2
131970 > Instead of asking Ms. Arthur to resign, what do you think the... ÀÌ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-27 2008
131969 My next date ÃÖ*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-27 1707
131968 Homework ±è*´Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-10-26 1915
131967 What is my favorite thing to do on social media ¹Ú*À² ¿Ï·á 2023-10-26 2202
131966 Homework ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-26 3
131965 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-10-26 1526
131964 homework ÃÖ*Ç ¿Ï·á 2023-10-26 1651
131963 What\'s your best experience in your recent visit to Singapore? ¼Û*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-10-26 2411
131962 Homework ±è*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-26 1699
131961 Homework ÀÌ*È­ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-26 1919
131960 What do you do with your friends? Why do you like spending time... ¿À*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-26 2
131959 If you had lots of power, what would you do with it? ¿¡*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-10-26 2
131958 HOMEWORK: Please write a short paragraph about ¡°Are you willing... ¾Ù* ¿Ï·á 2023-10-26 0
131957 What kinds of social problems does alcohol cause in your country? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2023-10-26 1482
131956 What do you think the punishment for drunk driving should be? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2023-10-26 1596
131955 Do you like looking at the star? Why? ÃÖ*ÇÑ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-26 1870
131954 WRITING TASK: What are some drinks you know how to make? What... ÀÓ*Áö ¿Ï·á 2023-10-26 2
131953 Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-10-26 2023
131952 What role does empathy and understanding play when engaging in... ±Ç*À± ¿Ï·á 2023-10-26 1

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04