¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Homework (2024-02-02)

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÀÓ*¼±
2024-02-02 570

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

HOMEWORK FOR TODAY:
ESSAY: Extreme sports such as skydiving and rock climbing are very dangerous and should be banned. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this view?

I agree that extreme sports such as skydiving and rock climbing are very dangerous, but I disagree that they should be banned.
There are lots of various activities or sports that people like.
People have the right to enjoy their favorite sports.
However, they must do with protective equipments and there must be no impact on other people or environments.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi there Ms. Sunny~!^^ Thank you for doing your first homework. Enjoy writing as you reach your goals as far as improving your English skills are concerned. Good job for your first homework. Have a great weekend! 
>>> TEACHER GEMMA 
I agree that extreme sports such as skydiving and rock climbing are very dangerous, but I disagree that they should be banned.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
There are lots of various activities or sports that people like.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
People have the right to enjoy their favorite sports.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
However, they must do with protective equipment and there must be no impact on other people or environments.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
130813 What are the disadvantages of living in a bustling city? ¹Ú*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2023-09-06 470
130812 HOMEWORK FOR THE STUDENT: What have you lost while traveling? ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-09-06 1
130811 homework ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2023-09-06 375
130810 Do you love your neighborhood? Please explain your answer ¹Ú*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2023-09-06 667
130809 HOMEWORK: Writing Exercise: Do you stay in touch with all of the... ¼­*ÅÃ ¿Ï·á 2023-09-06 709
130808 Homework JA*UNG CHUNG ¿Ï·á 2023-09-06 759
130807 Homework ½Å*È­ ¿Ï·á 2023-09-06 615
130806 WRITING TASK: What is your biggest dream? ÀÓ*Áö ¿Ï·á 2023-09-06 7
130805 ESSAY ±Ç*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2023-09-06 4
130804 I stopped answering and thought. \"Did you really call me?\" À±*Çý ¿Ï·á 2023-09-06 921
130803 I don\'t go now, but I still like books because I like those... À±*Çý ¿Ï·á 2023-09-06 460
130802 I think victims\' behavior will be limited if they are subjected... À±*Çý ¿Ï·á 2023-09-06 527
130801 Tipping ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2023-09-06 299
130800 If you met a tiger in your house, what would you do and/or say... ¿À*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2023-09-06 1
130799 I think experienced and flexible people ride the flow of change... À±*Çý ¿Ï·á 2023-09-06 483
130798 The wonderful holidays with my friends. ÃÖ*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2023-09-06 788
130797 Does intelligence make people more attractive? ÀÌ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-09-06 1
130796 homework Àå*¼® ¿Ï·á 2023-09-06 493
130795 homwork ¹Ú*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2023-09-06 1
130794 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-09-06 1203

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04