¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Homework (2024-02-02)

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÀÓ*¼±
2024-02-02 401

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

HOMEWORK FOR TODAY:
ESSAY: Extreme sports such as skydiving and rock climbing are very dangerous and should be banned. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this view?

I agree that extreme sports such as skydiving and rock climbing are very dangerous, but I disagree that they should be banned.
There are lots of various activities or sports that people like.
People have the right to enjoy their favorite sports.
However, they must do with protective equipments and there must be no impact on other people or environments.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi there Ms. Sunny~!^^ Thank you for doing your first homework. Enjoy writing as you reach your goals as far as improving your English skills are concerned. Good job for your first homework. Have a great weekend! 
>>> TEACHER GEMMA 
I agree that extreme sports such as skydiving and rock climbing are very dangerous, but I disagree that they should be banned.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
There are lots of various activities or sports that people like.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
People have the right to enjoy their favorite sports.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
However, they must do with protective equipment and there must be no impact on other people or environments.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
132512 Do you want to spend your leisure time alone or with friends?... ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-17 489
132511 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-11-17 900
132510 I live in Seongnam ±è*ºó ¿Ï·á 2023-11-17 2
132509 My braveness and persistence ÀÓ*Áø ¿Ï·á 2023-11-17 1023
132508 Homework ½Å*È­ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-17 526
132507 Do you think veganism is just a current trend that will... ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2023-11-17 2
132506 16.Nov.2023 ±è*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-17 0
132505 homework ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-17 4
132504 homework_231116 ÇÑ*·Ï ¿Ï·á 2023-11-17 0
132503 homework_231115 ÇÑ*·Ï ¿Ï·á 2023-11-16 1
132502 What do you hope to have achieved by the time you\'re... ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-16 809
132501 After learning that I did something wrong ÀÌ*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-11-16 1207
132500 Home work ±è*´Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-11-16 787
132499 Would you prefer language lessons one-to-one or do you like... Àü*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-16 5
132498 What do you think about technologies taking over people¡¯s... ÀÓ*È£ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-16 672
132497 please write your expectations from the class and from the... Àü*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-16 2
132496 homework 11.16 ÃÖ*Ç ¿Ï·á 2023-11-16 900
132495 The book I¡¯m the most interested in ¼Û*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-11-16 967
132494 Do you think people have fewer goals as they get older? ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-16 1076
132493 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-11-16 624

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04