¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Homework (2024-02-02)

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÀÓ*¼±
2024-02-02 659

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

HOMEWORK FOR TODAY:
ESSAY: Extreme sports such as skydiving and rock climbing are very dangerous and should be banned. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this view?

I agree that extreme sports such as skydiving and rock climbing are very dangerous, but I disagree that they should be banned.
There are lots of various activities or sports that people like.
People have the right to enjoy their favorite sports.
However, they must do with protective equipments and there must be no impact on other people or environments.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi there Ms. Sunny~!^^ Thank you for doing your first homework. Enjoy writing as you reach your goals as far as improving your English skills are concerned. Good job for your first homework. Have a great weekend! 
>>> TEACHER GEMMA 
I agree that extreme sports such as skydiving and rock climbing are very dangerous, but I disagree that they should be banned.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
There are lots of various activities or sports that people like.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
People have the right to enjoy their favorite sports.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
However, they must do with protective equipment and there must be no impact on other people or environments.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
139936 How do you motivate yourself to work every day? Áø*È£ ¿Ï·á 2024-09-19 3
139935 Homework ¿À*º½ ¿Ï·á 2024-09-18 0
139934 Would you always care to fulfill the requests of your family and... ±è*¸° ¿Ï·á 2024-09-18 309
139933 Homework ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2024-09-18 1
139932 Front-row seat ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2024-09-18 1
139931 Homework : What is a chore that you really dislike doing? Why... ÀÌ*¹ü ¿Ï·á 2024-09-18 17
139930 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-09-18 2
139929 Do you help your parents do some household chors? ¹Ú*Çö ¿Ï·á 2024-09-18 584
139928 alchol party ÀÓ*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2024-09-18 185
139927 What do you do to relax after a busy day? À±*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2024-09-18 0
139926 Homework ¿À*º½ ¿Ï·á 2024-09-17 0
139925 How do you usually celebrate Chuseok? Â÷*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2024-09-17 371
139924 What are your thoughts on gardening as a job. Â÷*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2024-09-17 608
139923 homework ½É*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-09-16 4
139922 Do you think modern life has limited the time we spend on... ÃÖ*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2024-09-16 1
139921 Home work ½Å*¶ó ¿Ï·á 2024-09-15 466
139920 Homework ³ë*ö ¿Ï·á 2024-09-14 262
139919 What do you think of the proverb, \"beauty is in the eye of the... À±*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2024-09-13 0
139918 Homework ¿À*º½ ¿Ï·á 2024-09-13 1
139917 What are the things best talked about over a drink? ±è*¸° ¿Ï·á 2024-09-13 354

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04