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영작교정 게시판

영어 말하기와 쓰기를 동시에 잡는다!

자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
회원님들께 무료로 제공해드리는 부가 서비스로, 전문 분야를 제외한 자유 주제
또는 강사님이 내주시는 과제를 회원님께서 영어로 작성해주시면,
담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

homework 02.01

작성자: 최*�
2024-02-01 1473

회원님의 영작문

~ Writing Task:
Please answer the question:
What are some popular outdoor activities for children during springtime?

Start spring season, we will start again outdoor activities that we stopped during the winter.
I think if children's parents have outdoor hobbies, they will go camping or they go hiking.
Instead, I think when we these activities experience often, these activities become a hobby.
On the other hand, if their parents don't have outdoor activities hobbies, they usually send their children to the sports academy.
There are typical course in Korea.
As a children, they usually send their children to sports academies that teach popular sports like a taekwondo(Martial arts in Korea), soccer, basketball, and swimming.
If they don't send their kids to sports academies, they can't control the kids who had full of energy.
So, most of parents send their kids to sports academies.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hi, Keon!
Thank you so much for taking time in answering the question. Your ideas and opinions are on point. Keep it up! :)
~ T. Camille



~ Writing Task:
Please answer the question:
What are some popular outdoor activities for children during springtime?

Start spring season, we will start again outdoor activities that we stopped during the winter.
>> This spring season, we will start again the outdoor activities that we stopped during the winter.
I think if children's parents have outdoor hobbies, they will go camping or they will go hiking.
>> CORRECT!
Instead, I think when we these activities experience often, these activities become a hobby.
>> Instead, when we think of these activities that we experience often, these activities become a hobby.
On the other hand, if their parents don't have outdoor activities hobbies, they usually send their children to the sports academy.
>> On the other hand, if their parents don't have outdoor activities or hobbies, they usually send their children to the sports academy.
There are typical course in Korea.
>> There are typical courses in Korea.
As a children, they usually send their children to sports academies that teach popular sports like a taekwondo(Martial arts in Korea), soccer, basketball, and swimming.
>> As for parents, they usually send their children to sports academies that teach popular sports like taekwondo (Martial arts in Korea), soccer, basketball, and swimming.
If they don't send their kids to sports academies, they can't control the kids who had full of energy.
>> If they don't send their kids to sports academies, they can't control the kids who are full of energy.
So, most of parents send their kids to sports academies.
>> So, most parents send their kids to sports academies.

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첨부 파일은 원활한 첨삭을 위한 참고자료로 사용될 뿐,
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첨삭이 가능하며,

올려주신 글의 강사님 첨삭은 24시간 이내에
완료 되는 것을 원칙으로 하고 있습니다.
03
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04

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