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영작교정 게시판

영어 말하기와 쓰기를 동시에 잡는다!

자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
회원님들께 무료로 제공해드리는 부가 서비스로, 전문 분야를 제외한 자유 주제
또는 강사님이 내주시는 과제를 회원님께서 영어로 작성해주시면,
담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

Do you think the immediacy of news on television is crucial, or do you believe taking the time to re

작성자: 김*경
2024-02-01 729

회원님의 영작문

News should be immediate around the clock to bring the latest news to the viewers as soon as possible, so news always depends on TV or SNS because of its quick delivery of contents in the blink of eye. TV tries to manifest the main purpose of the programs with proper pictures or sound effect that it helps the viewers to know the main ideas intuitively.

But a book has different purposes and tools to convey main ideas compared to TV. A Book is more optimized to develop our ability to think critically rather than conveying the information. So it doesn't fill a book with pictures or sound effects. Rather, a book has an opposite approach to fulfill its purpose with pages full of letters. We can imagine related pictures or even sound effects that the book would make while reading it. We can create something new in the course of reading books. So reading books require much time to invest, but it is worthwhile.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hi Steve, I enjoyed reading your composition. It is clear and well-constructed. I just made a slight adjustment for smoother flow and clarity! Overall, you did great. I look forward to reading your other compositions. :) 
-T.JAMIE

News should be immediate around the clock to bring the latest news to the viewers as soon as possible, so news always depends on TV or SNS because of its quick delivery of contents in the blink of eye.
>> News should be immediate around the clock to deliver the latest updates to viewers as soon as possible. Therefore, news heavily relies on TV or social media due to their rapid content delivery in the blink of an eye.

TV tries to manifest the main purpose of the programs with proper pictures or sound effect that it helps the viewers to know the main ideas intuitively.
>> TV endeavors to manifest the main purpose of programs through appropriate pictures or sound effects, helping viewers intuitively grasp the main ideas.

But a book has different purposes and tools to convey main ideas compared to TV. A Book is more optimized to develop our ability to think critically rather than conveying the information.
>> However, a book serves different purposes and employs distinct tools to convey main ideas compared to TV. A book is more optimized to develop our ability to think critically rather than simply conveying information.

So it doesn't fill a book with pictures or sound effects.
>>It doesn't fill a book with pictures or sound effects.

Rather, a book has an opposite approach to fulfill its purpose with pages full of letters.
>> Instead, a book takes the opposite approach, fulfilling its purpose with pages filled with letters.

We can imagine related pictures or even sound effects that the book would make while reading it.
>> We can imagine related pictures or even anticipate sound effects that the book might evoke while reading it.

We can create something new in the course of reading books. 
>> We can create something new in the process of reading books.

So reading books require much time to invest, but it is worthwhile.
>> So, reading books requires a significant time investment, but it is worthwhile.

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지난 날짜에도 게시 할 수 있습니다.

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02
전문 분야를 제외한 회원님이 직접 작성한 글만
첨삭이 가능하며,

올려주신 글의 강사님 첨삭은 24시간 이내에
완료 되는 것을 원칙으로 하고 있습니다.
03
하루 게시 가능한 글은 3회까지 이며,
종료된 수업의 영작교정 게시판은
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04

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