¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

What could be the solution for the decline of the birth rate in your country?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Ȳ*Àº
2024-01-31 798

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I think the decline of the birth rate derives from the unsatisfacting life. They don't think they can afford children.
But why are they not satisfied to their life? Most people want to enter good university, good firm and good house but I think that's not what they really want. Since we were young, we have been educated to 'just' do something and we didn't have many chance to express ourselves so we don't know what we want well and we just eager what others eager. Everyone wants same thing(to live in Seoul, make lots of money and enter big company). So the competition became tougher and we earn less with more effort. That's why we think our lives are tough.
So to solve the declining population problem, I think the competition has to be loosened. Our education has to be changed and policies should also be followed for people not to quit doing what they want. Another big city as Seoul is needed. We need to be dispersed. Instant solution will be giving money.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello Seoung Eun!
I truly admire your dedication to this class. Whenever I ask you to write homework, you don't put yourself into it but you make sure you express your thoughts concerning a matter. Great job and keep the passion alive!
T. Aki~

I think the decline of the birth rate derives from the unsatisfacting life. 
>>> I think the decline in the birth rate derives from an unsatisfying life. 

They don't think they can afford children.
>>> They don't think they can afford to have children.

But why are they not satisfied to their life? Most people want to enter good university, good firm and good house but I think that's not what they really want.
>>> But why are they not satisfied with their life? Most people want to enter a good university, a good firm, and have a good house but I think that's not what they want.

Since we were young, we have been educated to 'just' do something and we didn't have many chance to express ourselves so we don't know what we want well and we just eager what others eager.
>>> Since we were young, we have been educated to 'just' do something and we didn't have many chances to express ourselves so we don't know what we want well, and we are just eager because that's what others are.

Everyone wants same thing(to live in Seoul, make lots of money and enter big company).
>>> Everyone wants the same thing(to live in Seoul, make lots of money, and enter a big company).

So the competition became tougher and we earn less with more effort. That's why we think our lives are tough.
>>> So the competition becomes tougher and we earned less with more effort. That's why we think that our lives are tough.

So to solve the declining population problem, I think the competition has to be loosened.
>>> CORRECT!

Our education has to be changed and policies should also be followed for people not to quit doing what they want.
>>> CORRECT!

Another big city as Seoul is needed. We need to be dispersed. Instant solution will be giving money.
>>>  Another big city like Seoul is needed. We need to be dispersed. An instant solution will be giving money.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
131100 9/15 homework À±*Çö ¿Ï·á 2023-09-18 1346
131099 Homework ±è*´Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-09-17 406
131098 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-09-17 885
131097 homework ¾È*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-09-17 481
131096 Trust needs time °­*À² ¿Ï·á 2023-09-17 4
131095 What makes you want to go to school? ¼Û*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-09-17 397
131094 What are the activities that you may enjoy at the park? ±¸*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-09-17 1152
131093 What do you love about your city? ±¸*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-09-17 625
131092 What can you say about your English class at school? ±¸*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-09-17 509
131091 Do you want to attend an international school? ±¸*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-09-17 978
131090 Who do people need hobbies? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2023-09-17 771
131089 Homework-230915 ¾ç*¾Ö ¿Ï·á 2023-09-17 2
131088 Homework ÀÌ*È­ ¿Ï·á 2023-09-17 706
131087 Today\'s homework ÀÌ*µµ ¿Ï·á 2023-09-17 513
131086 How do you think you can build a trusting relationship with... ¼Û*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2023-09-16 960
131085 What¡¯s the worst natural disaster in your opinion? ÀÌ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-09-16 469
131084 Have you ever had any memorable swimming experiences or... ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2023-09-16 774
131083 How does a computer help us learn and have fun? ±è*¼ø ¿Ï·á 2023-09-15 627
131082 Do you think that parents should have the right to opt their... ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-09-15 4
131081 How do people typically unwind and de-stress on Fridays? ¿¡*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-09-15 3

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04