¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Is it necessary for people to have a hobby? Why?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: À±*ºó
2024-01-29 1861

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

We need a hobby to improve our life. I mean human is going to do something constantly to avoid being sick of life. To make life more attractive, we need to refresh every certain period of time. In addition, having a hobby gives us a way to stress out. We have to release our stresses getting from work, relationship or something. If we didn¡¯t do that, we wouldn¡¯t stand for living in hard life. So, a hobby is one of the most important thing in our life. Try anything whatever you want.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Thank you for this Yoon!

We need a hobby to improve our life. 
>>  correct
>> OR: We need a hobby to improve our lives.
I mean human is going to do something constantly to avoid being sick of life. 
>>  I mean, humans need to do something constantly to avoid being sick of life. 
To make life more attractive, we need to refresh every certain period of time. 
>>  correct
>> OR: To make life more attractive, we need to do something refreshing every certain period of time. 
>> OR: To make life more attractive, we need to keep doing something new every certain period of time. 
In addition, having a hobby gives us a way to stress out. 
>> In addition, having a hobby gives us a way to relieve/release stress.
We have to release our stresses getting from work, relationship or something.
>>  We have to release our stresses taken/accumulated from work, relationship or something.
 If we didn¡¯t do that, we wouldn¡¯t stand for living in hard life. 
>>  If we didn¡¯t do that, we wouldn¡¯t stand living a hard life.  
So, a hobby is one of the most important things in our life. 
>>  correct
Try anything, whatever you want.
>>  correct
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
129916 Traveling! ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2023-08-02 2606
129915 What places are you planning ti visit? ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-02 2213
129914 homework Á¤*È£ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-02 0
129913 homework Á¤*È£ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-02 0
129912 Homework ½Å*È­ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-02 2824
129911 Homework ½Å*È­ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-02 2380
129910 What do you think is the main purpose of snacking? ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-02 0
129909 Homework JA*UNG CHUNG ¿Ï·á 2023-08-02 3982
129908 Which cartoons do you like watching? Why? °­*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-02 2123
129907 WRITING TASK: Should pictures be posted on the internet without... ÀÓ*Áö ¿Ï·á 2023-08-02 4
129906 Homework ±è*¼º ¿Ï·á 2023-08-02 1965
129905 Korean Fashion ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-02 1690
129904 Do Koreans follow all the driving rules? If not, give examples ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-02 2155
129903 What national dishes from your country would you recommend to... ÀÌ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-08-02 2447
129902 Homework ±è*´Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-08-02 2148
129901 7.27.Thu Ȳ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-08-02 1866
129900 7.31.mon Ȳ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-08-02 1784
129899 HW ¹Ú*È­ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-02 2
129898 8.1.Tue Ȳ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-08-02 2524
129897 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-01 1914

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04