¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Is it necessary for people to have a hobby? Why?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: À±*ºó
2024-01-29 1395

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

We need a hobby to improve our life. I mean human is going to do something constantly to avoid being sick of life. To make life more attractive, we need to refresh every certain period of time. In addition, having a hobby gives us a way to stress out. We have to release our stresses getting from work, relationship or something. If we didn¡¯t do that, we wouldn¡¯t stand for living in hard life. So, a hobby is one of the most important thing in our life. Try anything whatever you want.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Thank you for this Yoon!

We need a hobby to improve our life. 
>>  correct
>> OR: We need a hobby to improve our lives.
I mean human is going to do something constantly to avoid being sick of life. 
>>  I mean, humans need to do something constantly to avoid being sick of life. 
To make life more attractive, we need to refresh every certain period of time. 
>>  correct
>> OR: To make life more attractive, we need to do something refreshing every certain period of time. 
>> OR: To make life more attractive, we need to keep doing something new every certain period of time. 
In addition, having a hobby gives us a way to stress out. 
>> In addition, having a hobby gives us a way to relieve/release stress.
We have to release our stresses getting from work, relationship or something.
>>  We have to release our stresses taken/accumulated from work, relationship or something.
 If we didn¡¯t do that, we wouldn¡¯t stand for living in hard life. 
>>  If we didn¡¯t do that, we wouldn¡¯t stand living a hard life.  
So, a hobby is one of the most important things in our life. 
>>  correct
Try anything, whatever you want.
>>  correct
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
134283 Which one do you prefer iPhone or Samsung and why? ¼Û*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-01-29 781
134282 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-01-29 624
134281 If there is any improvement your city can do to make public... õ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-01-29 1237
134280 Homework Àå*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2024-01-29 1201
134279 experience ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2024-01-29 1
134278 homework Á¤*È£ ¿Ï·á 2024-01-29 0
134277 Homework do*eun ¿Ï·á 2024-01-29 915
134276 essay 11 ¼Û*½Â ¿Ï·á 2024-01-29 677
134275 Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-01-29 1393
134274 I want to live in Canada or Australia. À±*Çý ¿Ï·á 2024-01-29 1076
134273 A movie with a little comedy added to the c-list documentary. À±*Çý ¿Ï·á 2024-01-29 1242
134272 Why do we use the computer? ¹Ú*Çö ¿Ï·á 2024-01-29 1364
134271 Homework À±*¼± ¿Ï·á 2024-01-29 1315
134270 A Happy life °í*È£ ¿Ï·á 2024-01-29 1139
134269 Homework ¹Ú*Çý ¿Ï·á 2024-01-29 754
134268 Who is always there to help you when you need it badly? ±Ç*ÀÓ ¿Ï·á 2024-01-29 1
134267 How long should we be having our conversation with friends Why? ÀÓ*Áö ¿Ï·á 2024-01-29 8
134266 homework ±è*¸° ¿Ï·á 2024-01-29 1
134265 What are the biggiest problems with living in cities? ÃÖ*¼ø ¿Ï·á 2024-01-29 1359
134264 Is there still a stigma around taking medication for one¡¯s mood... ±Ç*Áö ¿Ï·á 2024-01-29 997

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04