¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

homework 01.29

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÃÖ*Ç
2024-01-29 1254

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

~ Writing Task:
Please answer the question:
What¡¯s the best thing to do to keep your skin healthy?

I had good skin until when I was a student.
Everyone around me said to me my skin looks like a baby skin.
But, I became an adult, and my skin changed a normal skin.
In my opinion, the lifestyle patterns are important for skin healthy.
Among them, I think eating habits and cosmetics the most important.
Bad eating habits make our unhealthy body and bad skin.
I also had a bad eating habit for a long time, so my skin became worse than before.
And, the next important thing is the cosmetics you use for your skin care.
Many people use cosmetics to take care of their skin or makeup.
Sometimes this is help for our good skin, but if it doesn't suit me, it's poison to me.
Other than that, I think we have to go to the dermatologist often like celebrities.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi, Keon!
Thank you so much for taking time in answering the question. Your ideas and opinions are on point. Keep it up! :)
~ T. Camille


~ Writing Task:
Please answer the question:
What¡¯s the best thing to do to keep your skin healthy?


I had good skin until when I was a student.
>> I had a good skin until I was a student.
Everyone around me said to me my skin looks like a baby skin.
>> Everyone around me said to me my skin is similar to a baby's skin.
But, I became an adult, and my skin changed a normal skin.
>> But, as I become an adult, my skin changed into a normal skin.
In my opinion, the lifestyle patterns are important for our skin healthy.
>> In my opinion, the lifestyle patterns are important for our skin to be healthy.
Among them, I think eating habits and cosmetics the most important.
>> Among them, I think eating habits and cosmetics are the most important.
Bad eating habits make our unhealthy body and bad skin.
>> Bad eating habits make our bodies unhealthy and skin becomes bad.
I also had a bad eating habit for a long time, so my skin became worse than before.
>> CORRECT!
And, the next important thing is the cosmetics you use for your skin care.
>> CORRECT!
Many people use cosmetics to take care of their skin or makeup.
>> CORRECT!
Sometimes this is help for our good skin, but if it doesn't suit me, it's poison to me.
>> Sometimes this is helpful for our good skin, but if it doesn't suit me, it's poison to me.
Other than that, I think we have to go to the dermatologist often like celebrities.
>> CORRECT!

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
134139 homework 2024-01-24 ÀÌ*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2024-01-24 2
134138 homework ±è*¸° ¿Ï·á 2024-01-24 721
134137 The risk of rental ÀÓ*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-01-24 1688
134136 Homework do*eun ¿Ï·á 2024-01-24 993
134135 Where do you usually meet new people? ±è*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2024-01-24 9
134134 When people move to another country, some of them decide to... ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-01-24 0
134133 Homework ±è*´Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-01-24 652
134132 Instead of sleeping, how would you like to spend that time? ÃÖ*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2024-01-24 1056
134131 Homework : \\ ¼­*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-01-24 832
134130 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-01-23 173
134129 homework 01.23 ÃÖ*Ç ¿Ï·á 2024-01-23 949
134128 Homework À±*¼± ¿Ï·á 2024-01-23 752
134127 home work ÃÖ*¼Ø ¿Ï·á 2024-01-23 994
134126 Homework ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2024-01-23 2
134125 Korea in movies ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-01-23 0
134124 Make, compose, or construct two (2) sentences with the adjective... ±è*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2024-01-23 1
134123 If you could make a January festival ±è*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2024-01-23 1
134122 Without a reservation ÀÌ*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-01-23 1140
134121 Who is your favorite Disney hero or heroine? Would you trade... ¿¡*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2024-01-23 2
134120 \'constantly super early\'. À±*Çý ¿Ï·á 2024-01-23 1033

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04