¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

homework 01.29

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÃÖ*Ç
2024-01-29 703

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

~ Writing Task:
Please answer the question:
What¡¯s the best thing to do to keep your skin healthy?

I had good skin until when I was a student.
Everyone around me said to me my skin looks like a baby skin.
But, I became an adult, and my skin changed a normal skin.
In my opinion, the lifestyle patterns are important for skin healthy.
Among them, I think eating habits and cosmetics the most important.
Bad eating habits make our unhealthy body and bad skin.
I also had a bad eating habit for a long time, so my skin became worse than before.
And, the next important thing is the cosmetics you use for your skin care.
Many people use cosmetics to take care of their skin or makeup.
Sometimes this is help for our good skin, but if it doesn't suit me, it's poison to me.
Other than that, I think we have to go to the dermatologist often like celebrities.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi, Keon!
Thank you so much for taking time in answering the question. Your ideas and opinions are on point. Keep it up! :)
~ T. Camille


~ Writing Task:
Please answer the question:
What¡¯s the best thing to do to keep your skin healthy?


I had good skin until when I was a student.
>> I had a good skin until I was a student.
Everyone around me said to me my skin looks like a baby skin.
>> Everyone around me said to me my skin is similar to a baby's skin.
But, I became an adult, and my skin changed a normal skin.
>> But, as I become an adult, my skin changed into a normal skin.
In my opinion, the lifestyle patterns are important for our skin healthy.
>> In my opinion, the lifestyle patterns are important for our skin to be healthy.
Among them, I think eating habits and cosmetics the most important.
>> Among them, I think eating habits and cosmetics are the most important.
Bad eating habits make our unhealthy body and bad skin.
>> Bad eating habits make our bodies unhealthy and skin becomes bad.
I also had a bad eating habit for a long time, so my skin became worse than before.
>> CORRECT!
And, the next important thing is the cosmetics you use for your skin care.
>> CORRECT!
Many people use cosmetics to take care of their skin or makeup.
>> CORRECT!
Sometimes this is help for our good skin, but if it doesn't suit me, it's poison to me.
>> Sometimes this is helpful for our good skin, but if it doesn't suit me, it's poison to me.
Other than that, I think we have to go to the dermatologist often like celebrities.
>> CORRECT!

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
133064 homework 12.07 ÃÖ*Ç ¿Ï·á 2023-12-07 489
133063 Homework ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2023-12-07 3
133062 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-12-07 399
133061 Homework ±è*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2023-12-07 484
133060 Homework 6 ±Ç*Å ¿Ï·á 2023-12-07 895
133059 Have you ever fought or had misunderstanding with a co-worker? ÀÌ*¼Ö ¿Ï·á 2023-12-07 695
133058 HOMEWORK: Please write a short paragraph about \"What do you... ¾Ù* ¿Ï·á 2023-12-07 2
133057 Tell me about the most fashionable people you know. ¿¡*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-12-07 2
133056 Why is learning English important? ¹®*Çö ¿Ï·á 2023-12-07 6
133055 HOMEWORK FOR 12.07.2023 WRITING TASK: What are the pros and cons... ÀÓ*Áö ¿Ï·á 2023-12-07 6
133054 HOMEWORK FOR 12.06.2023 WRITING TASK: Do you believe that there... ÀÓ*Áö ¿Ï·á 2023-12-07 11
133053 Why are fewer and fewer people getting married? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2023-12-07 544
133052 commitment to something ÀÓ*Áø ¿Ï·á 2023-12-07 420
133051 Type of drink depending on place. ±è*ºó ¿Ï·á 2023-12-07 0
133050 homework ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2023-12-07 1
133049 homework Á¤*¾È ¿Ï·á 2023-12-07 0
133048 I would probably like to take a selfie with my family or my... À±*Çý ¿Ï·á 2023-12-07 837
133047 Homework ¿À*ºó ¿Ï·á 2023-12-07 1
133046 I think pronunciation is a problem that depends on effort. À±*Çý ¿Ï·á 2023-12-07 589
133045 I think knowledge is power. À±*Çý ¿Ï·á 2023-12-07 1027

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04