¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

homework 01.29

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÃÖ*Ç
2024-01-29 873

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

~ Writing Task:
Please answer the question:
What¡¯s the best thing to do to keep your skin healthy?

I had good skin until when I was a student.
Everyone around me said to me my skin looks like a baby skin.
But, I became an adult, and my skin changed a normal skin.
In my opinion, the lifestyle patterns are important for skin healthy.
Among them, I think eating habits and cosmetics the most important.
Bad eating habits make our unhealthy body and bad skin.
I also had a bad eating habit for a long time, so my skin became worse than before.
And, the next important thing is the cosmetics you use for your skin care.
Many people use cosmetics to take care of their skin or makeup.
Sometimes this is help for our good skin, but if it doesn't suit me, it's poison to me.
Other than that, I think we have to go to the dermatologist often like celebrities.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi, Keon!
Thank you so much for taking time in answering the question. Your ideas and opinions are on point. Keep it up! :)
~ T. Camille


~ Writing Task:
Please answer the question:
What¡¯s the best thing to do to keep your skin healthy?


I had good skin until when I was a student.
>> I had a good skin until I was a student.
Everyone around me said to me my skin looks like a baby skin.
>> Everyone around me said to me my skin is similar to a baby's skin.
But, I became an adult, and my skin changed a normal skin.
>> But, as I become an adult, my skin changed into a normal skin.
In my opinion, the lifestyle patterns are important for our skin healthy.
>> In my opinion, the lifestyle patterns are important for our skin to be healthy.
Among them, I think eating habits and cosmetics the most important.
>> Among them, I think eating habits and cosmetics are the most important.
Bad eating habits make our unhealthy body and bad skin.
>> Bad eating habits make our bodies unhealthy and skin becomes bad.
I also had a bad eating habit for a long time, so my skin became worse than before.
>> CORRECT!
And, the next important thing is the cosmetics you use for your skin care.
>> CORRECT!
Many people use cosmetics to take care of their skin or makeup.
>> CORRECT!
Sometimes this is help for our good skin, but if it doesn't suit me, it's poison to me.
>> Sometimes this is helpful for our good skin, but if it doesn't suit me, it's poison to me.
Other than that, I think we have to go to the dermatologist often like celebrities.
>> CORRECT!

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
137940 The place I want to visit ÇÑ*ÀÚ ¿Ï·á 2024-06-19 9
137939 What is your favorite book of all time? Á¤*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2024-06-19 528
137938 2024.06.18 ³²*·Ê ¿Ï·á 2024-06-19 702
137937 doctor ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2024-06-19 1
137936 Can sadness be useful in people¡¯s lives? ÀÌ*Å ¿Ï·á 2024-06-19 644
137935 How does surfing spread around the world? ¹Ú*È£ ¿Ï·á 2024-06-19 727
137934 How do you prioritize your tasks and goals at work? ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2024-06-19 733
137933 How does stress affect people? ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2024-06-19 491
137932 HOMEWORK Á¤*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2024-06-19 592
137931 How do you think Koreans can reduce food waste? ±è*±â ¿Ï·á 2024-06-19 559
137930 Homework ±è*´Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-06-19 623
137929 E-world honorary ambassador ÀÓ*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2024-06-19 626
137928 What are some of the reasons people choose to adopt? ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-06-19 0
137927 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-06-19 3
137926 Homework ¿À*º½ ¿Ï·á 2024-06-19 2
137925 Homework ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2024-06-18 2
137924 Do you think you could live without your smartphone (or other... ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2024-06-18 699
137923 What sport would you want to try or learn? Explain your answer. Â÷*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2024-06-18 543
137922 What do you think is the most fun musical instrument to play?... Â÷*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-06-18 472
137921 What are some of the reasons people choose to adopt? ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2024-06-18 604

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04