¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Talk about your Paju trip

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Ȳ*Àº
2024-01-29 617

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I left home at 7:50 but I arrived Imjingak, Paju at 2pm I was so tired when I got there. Even in there, there were so many people and it was not fun than I expected. After 2hours, I started to go home. So I was in Imjingak for 2hours and 8-9hours on the street, bus and train. I was so tired. The only thing that I liked in this trip was the museum in Imjingak, which is about people who are abducted to north korea during Korean war. My Next trip will be after I buy my car.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi, Seong Eun!
Whoa! I'm sorry to know that you traveled for almost 8 hours. What happened? Did you get lost? Well, there is something that I always put in my mind, "CHARGE TO EXPERIENCE". When we feel bad about something, just consider it as part of your experience and be cautious or ready next time to avoid such things from happening again. 
Thanks for sharing.
T. Aki~


I left home at 7:50 but I arrived Imjingak, Paju at 2pm I was so tired when I got there.
>>> I left home at 7:50 but I arrived at Imjingak, Paju at 2 pm I was so tired when I got there.

Even in there, there were so many people and it was not fun than I expected.
>>>  There were so many people and it was not as fun as I expected.

After 2hours, I started to go home. So I was in Imjingak for 2hours and 8-9hours on the street, bus and train.
>>> After 2 hours, I started to go home. So I was in Imjingak for 2 hours and 8-9 hours on the street, bus, and train.

I was so tired.
>>> I was exhausted

The only thing that I liked in this trip was the museum in Imjingak, which is about people who are abducted to north korea during Korean war.
>>>The only thing that I liked on this trip was the museum in Imjingak, which is about people who were abducted to North Korea during the Korean war.

My Next trip will be after I buy my car.
>>> CORRECT!
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
135821 Homework ±Ç*À± ¿Ï·á 2024-03-25 1
135820 homework ÀÌ*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2024-03-25 428
135819 How do you deal with your worries? ±è*Áö ¿Ï·á 2024-03-25 2
135818 What makes our travels better? ±è*Áö ¿Ï·á 2024-03-25 9
135817 Do you easily trust strangers? ±Ç*Áö ¿Ï·á 2024-03-25 470
135816 What are some beautiful waterfall hikes that you would recommend... ¹Ú*È£ ¿Ï·á 2024-03-25 373
135815 What advice can you give someone who is facing so many... ±è*Áö ¿Ï·á 2024-03-25 13
135814 What is \'Throwback Thursday\' (#TBT) on social media? Ȳ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-03-25 346
135813 Planting medical herbs ¾ç*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-03-25 421
135812 What was the riskiest thing you have ever done? ±è*Áö ¿Ï·á 2024-03-25 0
135811 I want to know these sentences are grammatically correct! °­*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2024-03-25 442
135810 Do you have any favorite shops or brands for clothes, makeup,... ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-03-25 2
135809 Before I go to bed °­*À² ¿Ï·á 2024-03-24 1
135808 What makes you happy? ÃÖ*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2024-03-24 1
135807 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-03-24 2
135806 Do you like your country? Write two things that you like about... Â÷*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-03-24 578
135805 Why do you think most children don\'t like eating vegetables?... Â÷*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2024-03-24 521
135804 Homework ÀÌ*È­ ¿Ï·á 2024-03-24 529
135803 Homework ¹Ú*Çý ¿Ï·á 2024-03-24 569
135802 homework ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-03-24 0

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04