¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Talk about your Paju trip

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Ȳ*Àº
2024-01-29 741

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I left home at 7:50 but I arrived Imjingak, Paju at 2pm I was so tired when I got there. Even in there, there were so many people and it was not fun than I expected. After 2hours, I started to go home. So I was in Imjingak for 2hours and 8-9hours on the street, bus and train. I was so tired. The only thing that I liked in this trip was the museum in Imjingak, which is about people who are abducted to north korea during Korean war. My Next trip will be after I buy my car.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi, Seong Eun!
Whoa! I'm sorry to know that you traveled for almost 8 hours. What happened? Did you get lost? Well, there is something that I always put in my mind, "CHARGE TO EXPERIENCE". When we feel bad about something, just consider it as part of your experience and be cautious or ready next time to avoid such things from happening again. 
Thanks for sharing.
T. Aki~


I left home at 7:50 but I arrived Imjingak, Paju at 2pm I was so tired when I got there.
>>> I left home at 7:50 but I arrived at Imjingak, Paju at 2 pm I was so tired when I got there.

Even in there, there were so many people and it was not fun than I expected.
>>>  There were so many people and it was not as fun as I expected.

After 2hours, I started to go home. So I was in Imjingak for 2hours and 8-9hours on the street, bus and train.
>>> After 2 hours, I started to go home. So I was in Imjingak for 2 hours and 8-9 hours on the street, bus, and train.

I was so tired.
>>> I was exhausted

The only thing that I liked in this trip was the museum in Imjingak, which is about people who are abducted to north korea during Korean war.
>>>The only thing that I liked on this trip was the museum in Imjingak, which is about people who were abducted to North Korea during the Korean war.

My Next trip will be after I buy my car.
>>> CORRECT!
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
137960 HOMEWORK Á¤*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2024-06-20 565
137959 Fix the relationship with my friend ¾ç*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-06-20 594
137958 Homework ±è*´Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-06-20 783
137957 What kind of people do you like to meet? ¹Ú*°æ ¿Ï·á 2024-06-20 652
137956 Why is it simpler to be nervous than confident in most... ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2024-06-20 452
137955 Homework ¿À*º½ ¿Ï·á 2024-06-20 0
137954 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-06-19 7
137953 Can sadness be useful in people¡¯s lives? Çö* ¿Ï·á 2024-06-19 2
137952 TV ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2024-06-19 590
137951 Homework Àå*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2024-06-19 571
137950 Bad habits ÀÌ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2024-06-19 798
137949 homework ±è*º° ¿Ï·á 2024-06-19 1
137948 Does talking about a sad experience help make the person feel... ÃÖ*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2024-06-19 2
137947 homework 11 ¼Û*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2024-06-19 762
137946 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2024-06-19 1
137945 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2024-06-19 0
137944 HOMEWORK DAY 4 ±è*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2024-06-19 712
137943 6/19 ¿ì*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2024-06-19 1
137942 Wearing uniforms enhances school pride, unity, and community... ¾È*À± ¿Ï·á 2024-06-19 774
137941 homework ÀÌ*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2024-06-19 658

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04