¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Would you rather be rich and unhappy or poor and happy?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÃÖ*ÈÆ
2024-01-26 349

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I choose that be poor and happy. Recently, I saw a lot of rich people who feel unhappy. So, they usually commit or fell into the wrong way. I think happiness is the driving force to get power to do something and also It can give a challenge to try everything. Although, we fail doing something, happiness can give the power to rise again. Despite they get lots of money, they are thinking about aren't happy, that's a big problem of the life. Money can give many chance to do but It can't give happiness. So, the poor people who feel happy has the biggest power more than rich people. Actually, the reason why do we gather the money is for be happy. Thus, I choose 'poor and happy'. (Sorry, I can't write 10 sentences...I did best one can 😢)

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hey Sarah! You did a great job! You were worried that you weren't able to make 10 sentences but you actually did, so job well done! I agree with your answer, happiness is more important than money. I', looking forward to your next writing task! Have a great weekend!^^

~~~Teacher Ryka^^


I choose that be poor and happy. 
>>> I choose to be poor and happy.

Recently, I saw a lot of rich people who feel unhappy. 
>>> Recently, I've seen a lot of rich people who are unhappy.

So, they usually commit or fell into the wrong way. 
>>> So, they usually fall on to the wrong things.

I think happiness is the driving force to get power to do something and also It can give a challenge to try everything. 
>>> I think happiness is the driving force to motivate and challenge someone to do or start something.

Although, we fail doing something, happiness can give the power to rise again. 
>>> Although we fail, happiness can motivate us to rise again.

Despite they get lots of money, they are thinking about aren't happy, that's a big problem of the life. 
>>> Despite having lots of money, they feel unhappy which is a big problem in life.

Money can give many chance to do but It can't give happiness. 
>>> Money can give you opportunities but it can't give happiness.

So, the poor people who feel happy has the biggest power more than rich people. 
>>> So, poor people who are happy have the advantage over the rich people.

Actually, the reason why do we gather the money is for be happy. 
>>> Actually, the reason why we earn money is for us to be happy.

Thus, I choose 'poor and happy'. 
>>> Thus, I choose to be "poor and happy."
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
131481 Homework ±è* ¿Ï·á 2023-10-06 0
131480 Do you think that frozen eggs have side effects/ disadvantages... ÀÌ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-06 2
131479 Homework JA*UNG CHUNG ¿Ï·á 2023-10-06 1310
131478 Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-10-06 1088
131477 Long distance relations ÀÌ*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-10-06 911
131476 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-10-06 0
131475 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-10-06 0
131474 Hi, Divina °­*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-06 0
131473 Do you think your wedding is the happiest day of your life? ±è*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-06 1
131472 Homework ½Å*È­ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-06 1482
131471 Homework ½Å*È­ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-06 916
131470 Memorable day ±è*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-06 788
131469 If you could change something in your past, what would it be? ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-10-06 0
131468 WRITING TASK: What are the advantages of an early bird? ÀÓ*Áö ¿Ï·á 2023-10-05 3
131467 My favorite sports ÃÖ*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-05 876
131466 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-10-05 681
131465 homework 10.05 ÃÖ*Ç ¿Ï·á 2023-10-05 787
131464 What\'s your thought on vegetarians or vegeans? ¿À*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-05 2
131463 HomeWork °í*ö ¿Ï·á 2023-10-05 2710
131462 when I eat out °­*À² ¿Ï·á 2023-10-05 2

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04