¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Would you rather be rich and unhappy or poor and happy?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÃÖ*ÈÆ
2024-01-26 589

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I choose that be poor and happy. Recently, I saw a lot of rich people who feel unhappy. So, they usually commit or fell into the wrong way. I think happiness is the driving force to get power to do something and also It can give a challenge to try everything. Although, we fail doing something, happiness can give the power to rise again. Despite they get lots of money, they are thinking about aren't happy, that's a big problem of the life. Money can give many chance to do but It can't give happiness. So, the poor people who feel happy has the biggest power more than rich people. Actually, the reason why do we gather the money is for be happy. Thus, I choose 'poor and happy'. (Sorry, I can't write 10 sentences...I did best one can 😢)

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hey Sarah! You did a great job! You were worried that you weren't able to make 10 sentences but you actually did, so job well done! I agree with your answer, happiness is more important than money. I', looking forward to your next writing task! Have a great weekend!^^

~~~Teacher Ryka^^


I choose that be poor and happy. 
>>> I choose to be poor and happy.

Recently, I saw a lot of rich people who feel unhappy. 
>>> Recently, I've seen a lot of rich people who are unhappy.

So, they usually commit or fell into the wrong way. 
>>> So, they usually fall on to the wrong things.

I think happiness is the driving force to get power to do something and also It can give a challenge to try everything. 
>>> I think happiness is the driving force to motivate and challenge someone to do or start something.

Although, we fail doing something, happiness can give the power to rise again. 
>>> Although we fail, happiness can motivate us to rise again.

Despite they get lots of money, they are thinking about aren't happy, that's a big problem of the life. 
>>> Despite having lots of money, they feel unhappy which is a big problem in life.

Money can give many chance to do but It can't give happiness. 
>>> Money can give you opportunities but it can't give happiness.

So, the poor people who feel happy has the biggest power more than rich people. 
>>> So, poor people who are happy have the advantage over the rich people.

Actually, the reason why do we gather the money is for be happy. 
>>> Actually, the reason why we earn money is for us to be happy.

Thus, I choose 'poor and happy'. 
>>> Thus, I choose to be "poor and happy."
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
134872 My preference of travel style ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2024-02-21 976
134871 Homework ±è* ¿Ï·á 2024-02-21 723
134870 Homework ±è* ¿Ï·á 2024-02-21 593
134869 Homework ±è* ¿Ï·á 2024-02-21 635
134868 Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-02-21 1272
134867 Homework À±*¼± ¿Ï·á 2024-02-21 908
134866 What kind of animal would you like to have as a pet? ¹Ú*Çö ¿Ï·á 2024-02-21 1208
134865 People are becoming too dependent on the Internet and phone. ÀÓ*¼± ¿Ï·á 2024-02-21 751
134864 Homework ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2024-02-21 2
134863 WRITING TASK: What banking system do you enjoy now in your... ÀÓ*Áö ¿Ï·á 2024-02-21 2
134862 Homework ±Ç*À± ¿Ï·á 2024-02-21 5
134861 What do you think of people who say they would never get... ¹Ú*È£ ¿Ï·á 2024-02-21 1303
134860 What do you think is Japan famous for? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2024-02-21 772
134859 homework ÇÑ*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2024-02-21 2
134858 Being a child ¹Ú*À² ¿Ï·á 2024-02-21 578
134857 What is your reason for wanting to be a flight attendant? õ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-02-21 756
134856 Homework Ȳ*Çý ¿Ï·á 2024-02-21 593
134855 homework ÀÌ*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2024-02-21 1
134854 Describe a piece of technology you find useful in your daily... ÃÖ*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2024-02-21 1432
134853 homework ±è*¸° ¿Ï·á 2024-02-21 2

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04