¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Would you rather be rich and unhappy or poor and happy?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÃÖ*ÈÆ
2024-01-26 624

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I choose that be poor and happy. Recently, I saw a lot of rich people who feel unhappy. So, they usually commit or fell into the wrong way. I think happiness is the driving force to get power to do something and also It can give a challenge to try everything. Although, we fail doing something, happiness can give the power to rise again. Despite they get lots of money, they are thinking about aren't happy, that's a big problem of the life. Money can give many chance to do but It can't give happiness. So, the poor people who feel happy has the biggest power more than rich people. Actually, the reason why do we gather the money is for be happy. Thus, I choose 'poor and happy'. (Sorry, I can't write 10 sentences...I did best one can 😢)

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hey Sarah! You did a great job! You were worried that you weren't able to make 10 sentences but you actually did, so job well done! I agree with your answer, happiness is more important than money. I', looking forward to your next writing task! Have a great weekend!^^

~~~Teacher Ryka^^


I choose that be poor and happy. 
>>> I choose to be poor and happy.

Recently, I saw a lot of rich people who feel unhappy. 
>>> Recently, I've seen a lot of rich people who are unhappy.

So, they usually commit or fell into the wrong way. 
>>> So, they usually fall on to the wrong things.

I think happiness is the driving force to get power to do something and also It can give a challenge to try everything. 
>>> I think happiness is the driving force to motivate and challenge someone to do or start something.

Although, we fail doing something, happiness can give the power to rise again. 
>>> Although we fail, happiness can motivate us to rise again.

Despite they get lots of money, they are thinking about aren't happy, that's a big problem of the life. 
>>> Despite having lots of money, they feel unhappy which is a big problem in life.

Money can give many chance to do but It can't give happiness. 
>>> Money can give you opportunities but it can't give happiness.

So, the poor people who feel happy has the biggest power more than rich people. 
>>> So, poor people who are happy have the advantage over the rich people.

Actually, the reason why do we gather the money is for be happy. 
>>> Actually, the reason why we earn money is for us to be happy.

Thus, I choose 'poor and happy'. 
>>> Thus, I choose to be "poor and happy."
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
135103 homework ÀÌ*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2024-02-29 1085
135102 The impact of technology ÀÓ*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-02-29 1194
135101 homework ÀÌ*Çý ¿Ï·á 2024-02-29 1
135100 textbook ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2024-02-29 1032
135099 How do you overcome fear? ÀÓ*È£ ¿Ï·á 2024-02-29 2
135098 What new things did you learn about Seoul? Ȳ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-02-29 1090
135097 What is the best thing about your birthplace? ±Ç*ÀÓ ¿Ï·á 2024-02-29 0
135096 Who presides wedding ¾ç*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-02-29 1379
135095 Do you think health care should be free? ¿À*¼Ò ¿Ï·á 2024-02-29 4
135094 homework 02.28 ÃÖ*Ç ¿Ï·á 2024-02-29 1245
135093 My bravest momnet ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2024-02-29 1250
135092 homework À¯*¸° ¿Ï·á 2024-02-28 1030
135091 0228 assignment ÃÖ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-02-28 1106
135090 What cat breed would you like to have? ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-02-28 3
135089 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2024-02-28 0
135088 Homework ±è*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2024-02-28 893
135087 Homework Àå*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2024-02-28 1420
135086 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2024-02-28 0
135085 Homework ÀÌ*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2024-02-28 1137
135084 What is in your bedroom? ÃÖ*¼º ¿Ï·á 2024-02-28 1511

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04