¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*¿ø
2024-01-25 1232

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Gimhae is a good place to live in Korea.
Gomhae is not a big problem to live in after all after all my life.
And Korea is good to live everywhere.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë


Here's your corrected composition, Luna!
Many thanks for sending it. See you tomorrow! 

Cheers,
Jean~~



                         Which city in Korea do you think is the best place to live in?


Gimhae is a good place to live in Korea.
>> CORRECT
>> OR: I'd choose Gimhae as the best place to live in my country. 

Gomhae is not a big problem to live in after all after all my life.
>> I've been living in Gimhae all my life and I know that there aren't big problems that happened here. 

And Korea is good to live everywhere.
>> And everywhere in Korea is a good place to live in. 
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
134148 HOMEWORK: Please write a short paragraph about \"Is time... ¾Ù* ¿Ï·á 2024-01-24 2
134147 short ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2024-01-24 1134
134146 What body language cues can indicate that a person is nervous? ±è*Áö ¿Ï·á 2024-01-24 1136
134145 What are the benefits you get from using a computer? ¹Ú*Çö ¿Ï·á 2024-01-24 1088
134144 How do you express your anger at something or someone? Kindly... ±è*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2024-01-24 0
134143 essay 10 ¼Û*½Â ¿Ï·á 2024-01-24 564
134142 Do you need someone to remind you about your schedule? ±Ç*ÀÓ ¿Ï·á 2024-01-24 1
134141 My New Hobby ¹Ú*À² ¿Ï·á 2024-01-24 783
134140 Do you know someone who gets happy, angry, or sad when they... ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2024-01-24 1160
134139 homework 2024-01-24 ÀÌ*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2024-01-24 2
134138 homework ±è*¸° ¿Ï·á 2024-01-24 690
134137 The risk of rental ÀÓ*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-01-24 1652
134136 Homework do*eun ¿Ï·á 2024-01-24 962
134135 Where do you usually meet new people? ±è*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2024-01-24 9
134134 When people move to another country, some of them decide to... ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-01-24 0
134133 Homework ±è*´Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-01-24 628
134132 Instead of sleeping, how would you like to spend that time? ÃÖ*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2024-01-24 1042
134131 Homework : \\ ¼­*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-01-24 824
134130 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-01-23 170
134129 homework 01.23 ÃÖ*Ç ¿Ï·á 2024-01-23 919

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04