¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

homework 01.24

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÃÖ*Ç
2024-01-24 1707

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

~ Writing Task:
Please answer the question:
How important is cleanliness to you? Why?

I think it's important to keep our body cleanliness.
Managing cleanliness is a different kind of business(name) card.
If we are not homebody, we will go outside and will meet other people.
And, we will have a social life with other people, like a business and work.
In social life, conversation manners and attitudes are also important, but I think personal cleanliness is also important.
Because, if I am a perfect person, but if my cleanliness is bad, other people will give me worse reviews.
It's not talking about handsome and pretty our appearance.
This means that managing cleanliness is a mutual manner in social life.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi, Keon!
Thank you so much for taking time in answering the question. Your ideas and opinions are on point. Keep it up! :)
~ T. Camille

~ Writing Task:
Please answer the question:
How important is cleanliness to you? Why?


I think it's important to keep our body cleanliness.
>> I think it's important to keep our body's cleanliness.
OR >> I think it's important to keep our bodies clean.
Managing cleanliness is a different kind of business(name) card.
>> Managing cleanliness is a different kind of business.
If we are not homebody, we will go outside and will meet other people.
>> If we are not a homebody, we will go outside to meet other people.
And, we will have a social life with other people, like a business and work.
>> And, we need to have a social life with other people, like business and work.
In social life, conversation manners and attitudes are also important, but I think personal cleanliness is also important.
>> In our social life, conversation manners and attitude are also important, but I think personal cleanliness is also important.
OR >> In our social life, conversation manners and attitude are also important, but I think personal cleanliness is important as well.
Because, if I am a perfect person, but if my cleanliness is bad, other people will give me worse reviews.
>> CORRECT!
OR >> Because, if I am a perfect person, but if I am unhygienic, other people will think badly of me.
It's not talking about handsome and pretty our appearance.
>> I am not talking about being handsome or about the appearance in general.
This means that managing cleanliness is a mutual manner in social life.
>> This means that managing cleanliness is a mutual manner in improving our social life.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
134013 Homework ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2024-01-18 2
134012 My favorite villain ¼Û*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-01-18 979
134011 Appointment ÀÌ*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-01-18 905
134010 What are the advantages of spring school vacation? ¿À*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2024-01-18 0
134009 Do you still have stuffed toys until now? ±Ç*¸ð ¿Ï·á 2024-01-18 719
134008 My favorite season is.. ±è*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2024-01-18 1604
134007 HOMEWORK: Please write a short paragraph about \"What are the... ¾Ù* ¿Ï·á 2024-01-18 4
134006 What¡¯s your favorite tradition or holiday? ¿¡*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2024-01-18 2
134005 1/18 homework ³ë*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2024-01-18 2
134004 Homework °­*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2024-01-18 433
134003 Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-01-18 902
134002 What activities do you like doing with your friends? ¹Ú*Çö ¿Ï·á 2024-01-18 960
134001 Letter ±Ç*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2024-01-18 2
134000 Survey ±Ç*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2024-01-18 2
133999 Letter ±Ç*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2024-01-18 3
133998 Do we need to have a goal in life? Why? ÃÖ*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2024-01-18 747
133997 What are the pros and cons of online dating? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2024-01-18 1443
133996 The impact of technology ÀÓ*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-01-18 1253
133995 Homework Á¤*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2024-01-18 953
133994 Renting ¿°*¿¹ ¿Ï·á 2024-01-18 5

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04